ENGLISH HAGGIS CLAIMS SHOCK SCOTS*** STOP-PRESS, REUTERS
Haggis-makers in Scotland have leapt to the defence of the country's signature dish after claims it was first made in England.
Food historian Catherine Brown said she found references to the dish in a book called The English Hus-Wife, (Hus-wife is old Saxon for village whore), dated 1615.
But she said the first mention she could find of Scottish haggis was in 1747.
Ms Brown said the book indicates that haggis was first eaten in England and subsequently popularised by the Scots.
WELL MS BROWN, YOU CAN FUCK OFF!
I have it documented in my family history that my ANCESTORS HAD A GOOD FEED OF HAGGIS before ripping the entrails out of QUITE A FEW ENGLISHMEN AT BANNOCKBURN.
Indeed, had THE PRINCE not run out of THE HAGGIS, AT CULLODEN and had to feed the troops on oatmeal, THE GERMAN BUTCHER'S MEN WOULD HAVE BEEN SLAUGHTERED!
And anyway, we were the first to PUT BATTER ROUND IT AND DEEP FRY IT.
You may have tried to TAKE OUR FREEDOM, but you never invented the CHIEFTAIN OF THE PUDDIN' RACE. (That's from a poem from Robbie Burns for my U.S. readers).
p.s. did Shakespeare ever write about Haggis, no! My big fat arse!)
p.p.s. I'm also related to Rabbie Burns, but then again so is half of AYRSHIRE!
