SCOTTISH OIL TO ONCE AGAIN FLOAT BRITISH TREASURY?

10 years after it's last production and due to new extraction methods and the high price of oil, the oil field, first known as the 'Argyll Field', the first in the North Sea, is to be re-excavated.

Does that mean that the recovery in the UK will once again be led by Scottish Oil, as it was in the 70s.  After all, who wins the lottery and gives 90% of the winnings to their neighbour?  No one could be that stupid, could they?

NEVER MIND ALL THIS ELECTION SHITE-HERE'S THE REAL NEWS!

Never mind all the BUZZ of the election.  The real BIG NEWS is that ABBA may be reforming.

FANTASTIC!  I think I've still got my 70s gear up in the loft.  Mind you, I'll need to go on a DIET TO GET INTO IT!