Friday, 25 November 2011


Ultra-thin slices taken from famed physicist Albert Einstein's brain in an attempt to find out what made him so extraordinary, are to be transplanted into the brain of Labour leader, Ed Miliband to see if they can make him any brighter.

The operation is to be paid for by the Trades Union Congress, whose leader, Fred Shuttleworth told us, "let's face it, he's a thick twat.  We hope that by giving him some of Einstein's brain it might make him one of the brightest men in Britain, even brighter than the man who currently holds the title of 'Britain's brainiest man', Stephen Fry and let's be honest here it wouldn't take a lot to make him the cleverest man in the Labour Party, because they're all thick fuckers".

Conservative Leader, David Cameron, who has been alarmed at the news has been allegedly been trying to get some Winston Churchill, DNA, before he has to meet Frau Merkel of Germany, in the second part of their war over the Euro and British concessions from the EU.


Gordon said...

I'm going to leave my brain as well. This will ensure that future chancellors can carry on my work of ending boom and bust and keeping the country prosperous. I have been very prosperous recently...

£48,166.00 for a speech to Visa International.
£36,639.66 for a speech to Credit Suisse in Miami, Florida.
£36,018.18 for a speech to Comtec Med in Geneva, Switzerland.
£35,873.94 for a speech to World 50, Inc in New York.
£36,174.63 for a speech to PIMCO in Newport Beach, California.
£36,174.63 for a speech to Economic Club of Michigan.
£36,146.29 for a speech to Skybridge Capital in Las Vegas.
£36,292.84 for a speech to Citi Latin America in New York.
£36,224.88 for a speech to Pershing LLC in Miami.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Gordon, I'm glad you're making a few bob, at least you're not getting it from dictators!