Sunday, 30 October 2011

I HATE BRITISH WINTERTIME!

I awoke this morning at my usual time of 8 o'clock.  The sun was just peeping through the blinds and then it dawned on me that I had forgotten to put the clocks back.

An impending doom spread over my mind, as I realised that once again, I was going to have to live in a  world of dark and cold for 6 months.  Why do we have to be one hour back from the continent?  Why can't we have 'double summertime', like the nice Mr Cameron wants?  Because some farmer in the north of Scotland objects?  So we all have to lose one hour of sunshine and light to keep his coos happy?  

I got into an argument with some teuchter from Caithness, (north of Scotland where John o'Groats is), who was complaining that it wouldn't be light until 9.30 in the morning if we went to continental time.  As I told him, if I lived on an island and the wind blew for a couple of months and ferry couldn't dock, I would just have to put up with it.  So if you don't like it move south!  Why should the rest of us suffer because 2% of the population of Britain lives in the north of Scotland?  It seems to work OK in Finland, Denmark and Sweden!

Of course, Alex Salmond is going to make a play of an argument with the rights of Scottish farmers over the rights of the rest of the UK.  He's quite right to do that as well.  It's his job to make Scotland independent or at least, 'Devo maxed, i.e. in charge of all our own tax and spend with shared responsibilities with the rest of the UK for things like defence.  That will be the first move towards an independent Scotland, mark my words.  But, in the meantime, can I have my summer back?

6 comments:

up yer bum said...

you hate Britain so of coursed you hat British summertime if fact anything with British you hate.

Unless it waz the British leave Scotland.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bumnote, are you really the moron your comment implies?

throbber said...

The Scottish argument is that it's safer for kids going to school in the daylight. And to come home from school in daylight.
We should have our own timezone in Scotland. If England was an hour ahead we could pop over the border, find out the football scores and lottery numbers, then nip back over and make a fortune using this 'inside' knowledge. I think.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Throbs, trouble is that it's dark when they come home after a 'tiring' day at school. If I had my way I would live near the equator where the daylight is the same all year and then I'd only be interested in Thai women!

Anonymous said...

At times like that I roll over and stick my big hard willy in my partners nearest orifice. It usually blows away the blues. This morning I was on the vinegar stroke after few good thrunges, and then she rolled over, so I had to finish the job by hand. I tried nibbling her neck but she made a funny farting noise and flew out the window. She was last seen flapping round my neighbours Sky dish.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Anonymous, Tiger is that you?