Friday, 12 November 2010


For 42 years Derek Wills has had the same television – and not once has he had to call out the repair man.

Derek Wills with Britain's oldest colour telly

Mrs Wills, told D.L., "he's a miserable fucker, the arsehole refuses to buy me a hoover and expects me, to brush, the floor.  Last year on our diamond wedding anniversary, the wizened old twat, refused to take me out and we dined on half a pork pie and a can of cheap cider. My knickers have gone all crusty, I bought them in 1972 and he won't let me buy new ones.  I hope to fuck, I don't go first because he'll just wrap me in some plastic and set fire to me out the back grass".


Toni said...

What a bastard, doesn't he realise that because he is happy watching some crap old tv he is depriving a chinese worker from feeding his extended family and supporting his state sanctioned son until he gets his first job on his 11th birthday. And lets not forget the impact on the environment. That pony old telly probably puts out more heat and uses up more energy than a medium sized coal-fired electricity station. If this planet suffers from further global warming, Derek Willis is to blame. I recommend a no-rules UFC cage match between Mr "smug bastard" Wills and Al Gore be broadcast as soon as possible.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Antonio, I think the students should demonstrate and smash his house and his old telly up! Mind you I think Al Gore should get smashed up as well! The Chinese state police will get him in about 15 years time when they run the west. The smug old bastard.

banned said...

Toni, excellent analysis of how China got to be Top Country so soon.

I didn't even have a colour telly 42 years ago, I think my dad brought one home in about 1970 following sever a pestering after my return from a School visit to the Isle Of Wight wnere the place we stayed in had wooooo, colour telly!!!

bugsbunny said...

He's quite right having a telly for 42 years. Most of the repeats that are on the telly are about 40 years old anyway,or they just seem like that. TV Gold? TV utter shite would be more appropriate. And don't get me started on the fucking BBC? I'm forking out the price of a good chinkie every month to uphold an antiquated channel that I don't even bloody watch.


Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I can't remember when we got a colour telly. When did they come in? It might have been just after you fuckers fluked the World Cup, maybe in 68 or 69.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Stephen, can I take it you haven't embraced the sporting feast that is Sky Sports and ESPN. You're not watching all that reality shite and soaps are you?