For 42 years Derek Wills has had the same television – and not once has he had to call out the repair man.
Mrs Wills, told D.L., "he's a miserable fucker, the arsehole refuses to buy me a hoover and expects me, to brush, the floor. Last year on our diamond wedding anniversary, the wizened old twat, refused to take me out and we dined on half a pork pie and a can of cheap cider. My knickers have gone all crusty, I bought them in 1972 and he won't let me buy new ones. I hope to fuck, I don't go first because he'll just wrap me in some plastic and set fire to me out the back grass".