Wednesday, 14 April 2010


A keen environmentalist has been ordered to pay £4,000 after catching, cooking and eating endangered native crabs.
Christopher Hemsley, 41, thought he was doing a good deed by catching what he believed to be invasive American signal crabs in a trap his wife had bought him.
 A nosey bastard spotted them and alerted the Environment Agency, which called in the police.    When told what the crustaceans were, Hemsley admitted killing white-clawed crabs contrary to the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981; and taking fish in an inland water with a trap without a licence, contrary to the Salmon and Freshwater Fisheries Act 1975.
Diana Matthews, chairman of magistrates, imposed a fine of £3,500 for killing the crabs and £400 for trapping them, and ordered to pay £85 costs and £15 victim surcharge, making a total of £4000.

FUCK ME!   £4K FOR SOME CRABS!  I had a mate got a dose of the CRABS IN THAILAND and came back to MOTHERWELL and opened  A SEAFOOD RESTAURANT!


The Boggart said...

Fuck me these Enviro-loons just dont get it do they, piss funny.
Oh hang on a minute I've got some mouse traps in my shed am I breaking somekind of law do you think?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bogey, is that not fucking ridiculous. £4,000 for catching some crayfish. I don't know what this country's coming to. Fuck, I sound like my father!

scunnert said...

The UK has gone barking.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Scunnert, Fucking unbelievable. You're eating Beavers and Fucking Muskrats and we're being fined for eating crayfish out a river.

The Boggart said...

Some nosy bastard will be shopping some
poor cunt for taking a shit in the woods next
gotta be worth at least £5,000 that.
Ray Mears watch your back mate :-)

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bogey, the last time Ray Mears took a shit in the woods, a fucking big brown bear shagged the fuck out of him when his strides were down and he couldn't get away. He's never done it since, I believe.