Sunday, 10 January 2010

SOUTHAMPTON MAN GETS PENIS TRAPPED IN STEEL PIPE (PICTURE)



A man who went to casualty with his penis stuck in a steel pipe had to be cut free by firefighters using a metal grinder.

Medics at Southampton General Hospital could not get the man's penis out of the stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become aroused.  So they called in Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service.  They turned up with a special equipment unit from St Mary's station in Southampton and seven firefighters to help in what a spokesman said was a ''delicate operation''.

The firefighters used the four-and-a-half-inch grinder to cut the pipe from around the man's penis and it took about 30 minutes.  The patient was given an anaesthetic and his penis was left bruised and blooded but otherwise unharmed.  The anxious man aged about 40 gave hospital staff no explanation about how the pipe got stuck after he turned up on Tuesday morning.

 A firefighter said later, ''It was certainly an unusual call-out and I'm sure the man won't be getting into that situation again.''   I THINK YOU CAN GUARANTEE THAT, MATE!

25 comments:

HeadsonPoles said...

That's not bruised and bloodied - that's almost off!
Fuck that, I'm using the cat from now on.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Fucking hell.

That's MASSIVE!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson, there's a guy in my village seemingly who shags the hoover nozzle on suck. That's what his will end up like. You have been warned!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rab, you're right. It's no wonder it got stuck.. It must have been huge if he got a hardon. Mind you he'll not be getting one of those for a while.

Stout Heart said...

And in this weather as well, surely if a trip round the garden didn't work a cold bath would have done the trick; failing that the sure fire "woody killer" is a photograph of Margaret Beckett - that has to work.

I think this bloke must have been terminaly stupid - he should have been forced to wear his pipe for a week or two as a lesson.

Barking Spider said...

I'm just trying to imagine him walking into the hospital with his knob stuck in that pipe and standing to attention - they must have been rolling on the floor!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Stouters, you would have imagine there must have been something they could have done to cool his ardour. Maybe a pic of Mandy's arsehole. No, that might have got him going again.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Spidey, correct. But the best as that there were seven fireman involved. You can just imagine the call going out to the Fire Station. Seven fireman that means two engines. Can you imagine them rolling up to the hospital with sirens wailing and lights flashing and then piling in with all their gear on. It must have been a hoot. You could write a brill half hour sit/com with that material never mind the 'Office'!

banned said...

Didn't some bloke get done for having sex with a bicycle? Why hasn't the pipe shagger been likewise done for outraging public decency?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I think the poor man has had enough of a punishment. Fuck me, I wouldn't like to come up before you if you were a judge!

HeadsonPoles said...

Should have cut through the pipe by putting it in a lathe.
Mwuhahahaha...

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson, there's a cruel bit about you. That might have screwed his knob off by the roots. Either that or he would have spun round like a catherine wheel. I suppose they could have given him a couple of sparklers to hold while it was happening and invited some kids in for the fireworks.

Stout Heart said...

You are all so cynical; maybe he was just a humble plumber going about his honest business in a hot airing cupboard when he slipped.

On the other hand he might be a perverted sado that's so ugly he couldn't even get a shag in Derby Road, SO14 0DZ(where they can normaly be had for the price of a G&T or less.

according to the local paper,If he fails there, he could get a hooker for £10 in the Asda car park in Caerphilly (a ewe is £15 and prettier).

As I said he might just be a short sighted artisan.

Stout Heart said...

Maybe it was a "peashooter" - boom boom

Shades Of Ansel said...

The Plonker.It's a Penis PUMP not a Penis PIPE.( and my,er,mate says they're made out of plastic too ).

Dark Lochnagar said...

Stouters, you may be onto something here. What if he was working away and thought to himself, "I wonder if I could use that pipe for a wee 'sherman'" He probabl;y would have prefered to nip over to Wales for a sheep but plumbers are very busy at the moment with burst pipes and as he was probably charging around £200 per hour it would be financially imprudent to take 6 hours over shagging a sheep.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Ansel, I don't know which it is but I'll tell you one thing, it worked fucking quick!

Stout Heart said...

Presumably he was one of Tony Blair's Polish plumbers which is why he left the hospital without speaking.


next thing will be Simon Co(wel)hen will be making "strictly plumbing".

Dark Lochnagar said...

Stouters, I have to admit if I had a cock in that state, I wouldn't be speaking either. I hope you're not making a racial overtone about Jews, just because the man is circimcised with your Cohen remark. As you might have noticed this site is very PC. Not. If he did make 'strictly plumbing' they could get Shirley Bassey to sing, 'as soon as you looked at my joint'!

Tiger said...

Heck I've gotta get my rocks off somehow guys.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tiger, you nearly sneaked it under the radar there! You don't need a steel pipe when you've got that big RACHAEL bird, you dirty lucky African American Bastard!

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