Tuesday, 19 January 2010

HOWAWAY THE LADS! WE'RE ALL NEWCASTLE FANS NOW!


Northern Rock sparked outrage yesterday after revealing plans to spend up to £10million sponsoring a football club.



Critics rounded on the State-owned bank for pouring taxpayers' money into Newcastle United.  The renewed deal is worth 500 times the £20,000 average annual salary of a Northern Rock worker.  It is even more generous than some of those signed by rival clubs - including ones which are more successful than Newcastle.  Yesterday Premier League side Birmingham City signed a five-year deal with the Chinese sportswear firm Xtep worth around £7.8million. But Newcastle are in the Championship, a division lower.

Northern Rock was bailed out by taxpayers in February 2008 after humiliating scenes saw panicked customers queueing round the block to withdraw their money. But yesterday the bank insisted the new sponsorship deal was appropriate.

So it's "HOWAWAY THE LADS, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN US COMING"
          "WE'RE ONLY HERE TO DRINK YOUR BEER AND SHAG YIR FUCKING WOMEN" 

It will be easy for us SCOTS, because they say a GEORDIE is only a SCOTSMAN WITH HIS BRAINS KICKED OUT!  WHYAYE MAN, make mine a bottle of NOUKIEBROON.

10 comments:

HeadsonPoles said...

Happy to see the pair of them go bust.
Couldn't give a toss.

The Young Oligarch said...

Exhibition Ale will do me , DL .

Either that or £10M for The 'Well .

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson, you should give a toss. It's your money. every man woman and child in the country has given them £0.20. I've booked you and the weans into the directors' box a week on Saturday for the game agianst Derby County.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Oli, Think of a song which has a line with five words and 'Well is three of them. It's the version without the word Super I'm thinking about. Ayr need it more than 'Well. :-)

Max Clifford said...

It fits in well with the image of UK PLC though.
Piss poor performers relegated to the lower league due to poor management.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Max, Shearer! Shearer! Mind you the chappies seem to be doing rather well this year, but if they don't go up the parachute payments from the Premier League will stop.

Edgar said...

Just exactly who says "a GEORDIE is only a SCOTSMAN WITH HIS BRAINS KICKED OUT!"?

I've been a Geordie for 57 years, DL, and no haggis-sucking, hairy-faced, skirt-wearing, bagpipe-shagging, GINGER-HEADED, King-of-the-Airseholes has ever said such a thing in my hearing. Maybe it's because they're such a bunch of pussies, I don't know ...

Dark Lochnagar said...

Edgar, I'm sorry if you're offended, but it is a common saying here. Mind you it might be the other way around I'm not sure!

Edgar said...

I'm not offended, DL. Just indulging in a little irony. Taking the piss out of others is something that seems to be almost universally frowned on. But when it is done in a good-natured way, it has a positive effect. It stops people from taking themselves too seriously and it reduces tension. Traditionally, young men starting work were subject to light-hearted banter and practical jokes. If they could take it, they were welcomed. It is the same with regional rivalries: if we can give and take, it is a sign of maturity of outlook, and a recognition that there are more important things than personal dignity, whatever the fuck that is.

Howay the Jocks!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Edgar, that's all right then, you can fuck off you geordie twat!