Tuesday, 26 January 2010

AUSTRALIAN? ARE YOU DESCENDED FROM A CONVICT?



The dark details of their family histories are to be revealed to thousands of Australians this week following the release of details of the convicts Britain sent to the new colony more than 200 years ago.

The British government has released the details to coincide with Australia Day today, allowing individuals to search through an online data base to check if they are descended from criminals.  Many convicts were transported for crimes like, picking their nose in public, scratching their own or someone else's arsehole if it got itchy or sitting on the couch with their hand down their 'doublet' rubbing their knob.

Still they got their revenge 300 years or so later for us sending them convicts by sending us, Foster's Lager, Mel Gibson, Edna Everidge and half the barmen in London.  Oh, and that BEARDY TWAT with the DIDGERIDOO.

10 comments:

RantinRab said...

I like fosters lager! Better than that Tennents pish.

By the way, Rab C. Nesbitt is a goner!

The Young Oligarch said...

Foster's ?
What about that Castlemaine XXXX pish they used to punt us ?
Talk about weapons of mass destruction ?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rab, I see that. Much better, an Ayrshire man shouldn't be associated with that Glasgow wanker anyway! I left you a wee message of encouragement. Your right, I hate Tennants with a vengence far too fizzy. I used to like that McEwans but nobody else seemed to, but I'm really a beer drinker.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Oli, Castlemaine! Fuck me you didn't drink that shite did you? Nae wonder you stay in Motherwell!

Barking Spider said...

They also sent us a load of shite soaps like Neighbours and Home and Away!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Spidey, I forgot about that and what about those singers, Donavan and Minogue. Mind you they put out their second team in the Rugby World Cup final to let England win.

Stout Heart said...

Too much sun, too many bbqs and too much mediocrity.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Stouters, that is a very concise comment. Is one feeling ok?

The Young Oligarch said...

On one or two occasions I was , indeed , forced to drink that Castlemaine pish , DL . That was in Glesca , though , not God's Holy Lanarkshire .

I recently saw McEwan's Lager on tap in The Black Bull in Cambuslang Main Street .
You wouldn't like the red-white-and-blue decor , however .

Nice pint of Tartan Special , as well , another one you hardly see out this way these days . Most of the time I have to take Tennant's Special . I'm not drinking that mixed gas pish like Belhaven Best or Tennant's Velvet !

Time for the pub , anyway .

Dark Lochnagar said...

Oli, sorry i nearly missed you. I must pop in the next time I'm in Cambuslang. Red, white and blue wouldn't bother me, I just don't support Rangers, but Ayr and I'm a bit lukewarm about Royalty. As long as the Queen remembers that up here we are NOT her subjects but that she is the Queen of Scots not Queen of Scotland, then we'll get on fine. If you want to continue this discussion drop in on a more recent post as this one has dropped off the radar so to spaek, even if it is o/t.