Saturday, 12 December 2009


Tiger Woods has publicly apologised for his 'infidelity' and announced he will be taking a break from  professional golf.  I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER TO TAKE A BREAK FROM SHAGGING!


An anthropologist said...

He can't stop shagging as he has a "sex addiction". This absolves him of any responsibility. Cue visit to Oprahs couch, a wee cry, big cheque to the orphans in Africa, mass threats of litigation to gag press,Clifford like slimeball PR representation. Hey presto. New man. Helluva guy thank god he pulled through. Their marriage is stronger for this wails The Daily Wail. God is indeed merciful and forgiving. Move on now nothing more to see here. Black pervert likes to shag white sluts behind his wifes back
is NOT the story. Go away.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Anthro, I wonder if the story would have been as big had it been a white guy. Not that I'm excusing the bastard but I feel the hand of the neo-Rupublicans in the States behind this. Mind you with the money he is likely to lose, he'll be sooking in with the wife like fuck.

INCOMING!!!!!!! said...

His daddy was a big spook, and hung out with Bob Hope. Funny man.

Schillings Esq, London. said...

Dear Mr Dark
Please remove this picture from your blog. Justice Eadie has made it illegal to show 'any part' of our client Mr Woods in printed media, internet or public arena. Sir, you are in contempt of court. Please desist forthwith.

Dark Lochnagar said...

INCOMING!!!!!! Who Bob Hope? I saw him once in Edinburgh. Fantastic.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Mr Schillings, fuck off!

The Red Tod said...

If Mr Woods had kept his Parts private he wouldn't be in the slight bother he now is.

When Bob Hope, who had one of Hollywood’s longest marriages, was caught in bed with a starlet by his wife he sat bolt upright in bed, looked his wife straight in the eye and said "I'm not who you think I am".

He got away with it and didn't get a shoulder launched nine iron through the back window.

Tiger just hasn't got the same style and what he needs is lessons in ducking not a lawyer.

My ex-wife was pretty quick with the sharper contents of the cutlery drawer and smaller items of furniture and luckily my reactions were swift enough to keep me out of the casualty department so I have some sympathy for Mr Woods.

Dorothy Parker said - “happily married men don’t have affairs”; Mrs Woods might like to think about that.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Red, Bill Clinton said, "show me a man who hasn't had an affair and why I'll show you a dammed liar", but then again most men are stupid to leave a white DNA sample on her frock!