Corny old magician PAUL DANIELS is to be the new hot model for the ARMANI UNDERWEAR RANGE.
ARMANI are understood to be looking for a man with a more mature profile after their brief flirtation with DAVID BECKHAM turned out to be a marketing nightmare after his wife, POSH, told adoring fans that David likes nothing better that to wear her pants as it gives him a huge hard-on, but he does find that the Bra chaffs his nipples a bit.
Paul's wife, DEBBIE, why did you marry the millionaire Paul Daniels, McGEE said in a parody of her husband's catchphrase, "I like it not a bit, the stupid old twat. Anyway his rope's not thick enough for me and it hasn't been that stiff since 1978".
If the advert is a success Paul is hoping to appear on Iceland's ad as 'that's why Grandad goes to Iceland' dressed in a man-thong with a fish finger and his bollocks hanging out.