Saturday, 21 November 2009

BRITISH NAVY FORCED TO APOLOGISE TO DAGOS!




The Royal Navy was accused yesterday of using a Spanish flag as a machine-gun target.

Giles Paxman, the UK's new ambassador in Madrid, was forced to apologise after sailors fired at a red-and-yellow flag affixed to a buoy while patrolling off Gibraltar.  He was summoned to the Spanish Foreign Ministry for a dressing down and officials said he had conceded there had been an 'error of judgement'.  The incident is alleged to have taken place five nautical miles from Gibraltar outside of SPANISH TERRATORIAL WATERS.

But the ambassador - who has been in post for just a month - denied that the crew of HMS Scimitar had been insulting Spain's flag.  Instead, he told them the sailors had actually been firing at Nato's maritime flag for the number '1' which shares the same distinctive colours.

Never mind apologising, we should THEM TO FUCK OFF!  And if they don't stop their SHITE OVER GIBRALTER, we'll stop selling our ENGLISH BREAKFASTS in Spanish cafes and then watch their fucking economy go into FREEFALL!

26 comments:

banned said...

Giles Paxman should have responded more diplomatically along the lines " Fuck off you Dagoe cunts or we'll do you too ".

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, Ah for the old days when you'd send a gunboat up their major river to shoot the fuck out of the bastards. Now we can't even shoot some fucking Somalian pirates up in case we've got to rescue them from the fucking sharks and they want political asylum. Did you see that story. I nearly posted it.

INCOMING!!!!!!! said...

DL I suppose we should mind our Ps and Qs now that irregular forces have taken down Wardog.

So in the spirit of diversity and multiplexbollox I say nuke the squid munching fucks and drop them into the hell that is X Factor.

Machine gun their shit flag, which doesn't exist BTW, since the crypto Nazis in Iberia have been waiting for the EUSSR to turn up for 70 years anyway.

If there is one thing to get this country back on its feet it is a vote of unlimited ammunition expenditure for the fleet.

Lock and load.

HEEHEEEEHEEEEE

Captain Pugwash said...

Yes our Navy is now in sorry state. Surrendering twice to some ragheads in Iranistan and giving them our boats and weapons in return for some dodgy suits and a bag of sweets.
Then we decide not to intervene when some more ragheads take two of our citizens and their yacht because the crew hadn't done the pirate training course.
I'm quite glad we're now no longer an independent country but are part of the EUSSR as I'd be ashamed to be British.

Dark Lochnagar said...

INCOMING!!!!!! Wardog's demise is to be deeply regretted, but in the blogosphere some come and some go, the secret is that we will never as a force be shut down until they monitor our traffic on a minute to minute basis. As someone once said "you turn if you want to, the Laddie's not for turning"!

Anyway these dago bastards, time we nuked them or at least shot one of their canoes up.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Captain Pugwash, the incident in Iranistan wasn't the worst of it , but why were those lily livered fuckers allowed to sell their story to the papers. One prick said "I cried when they took away my IPod", for fuck's sake.

Then we allow those Somali bastards to kidnap British subjects and we have a navy ship within 50 metres and they only have light weapons. The fuckers would have been swimming back to Somalia if I had been the Captain. My father was a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy during the War and he will be turning in his grave.

Captain Pugwash said...

I suppose it's not politically correct to protect your own citzens anymore. I checked out the ship's website ( Wave Knight) and it's full of b/s about it's anti piracy role.
The ship has 75 civvies and 26 troops and has some handy defences..

Armament: two 30 mm cannon; four 7.62 mm machine guns; fitted for but not with two Vulcan Phalanx
Aircraft carried: 1 Merlin helicopter with full hangar facilities

Dark Lochnagar said...

Captain, how can it be an anti-piracy if it can't sink the pirates' boat because it can't let them drown and if they take them aboard they'll want political asylum! The whole thing is fucking ridiculous! If they're pirates take them on board, give them a trial and if they're guilty, make the fuckers walk the plank!:-0)

Captain Pugwash said...

Making them walk the plank sounds good in theory but wouldn't work in practice. They would have to be issued with proper footwear in case they got splinters in their feet. And made to wear a harness in case they fell into the water. And a lifejacket in case the harness failed.
Mmmm might be easier to just let them do what they want to do.

banned said...

DL "we can't even shoot some fucking Somalian pirates up in case we've got to rescue them from the fucking sharks and they want political asylum. Did you see that story"
Yes I did, at the start of the conflict we just shot the fuckers up till some 'uman rights fuckers got involved; since then our Navy boys have been trying to get the Chinks and Indian Navies in there first to sort the cunts out before the lawyers get involved.

HeadsonPoles said...

Apologising may not have been such a bad move. They could have sent back all those wrinkly coffin dodgers that retired to Spain.
Oh yes, they come back when they don't feel well - silly me.
OK, gunboats it is, can't think of any benefit from Spain at all.
What's the betting that the MOD would not be able to provide Ambre solaire to our soldiers fighting on the beaches......

Dark Lochnagar said...

Captain, maybe we could just dangle the fuckers over the side and let the sharks bite bits out of them. That way the sharks would eat the splinters. No problem, unless that's cruelty to fish......

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, so we're back to these EC fuckers with their stupid fucking rules. Christ the sooner we get out of it the better. As I said if I was in England I would be voting UKIP.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson, I can't think why they would want to come back here if they're not well. The Spanish NHS is miles ahead of ours, it can afford to be, we subsidise it through our taxes.

It's a fucking good job they didn't fly every dead soldier home from the World Wars, fuck me, the RAF wouldn't have had time to bomb the Hun!:-)

CrazyDaisy said...

DL,

I know the skipper - storm in a tea cup and the media biggin it up!

As for the Iranian incident - we have Rules Of Engagement to follow and the right to self defence remains at all times.

They took the right course of action and no one died from being gung-ho.

Sad about WARDOG he'll return somewhere else - Murphy and his media cronies using the heavy boot.

Typical - not long now and Tory boy will be in - wonder where these Labour arse lickers will be then without their best pals to bail them oot, corrupt fuckers.

CD

Dark Lochnagar said...

Daisy, I'm sure it was all blown up, but that's not the point. We mamby pamby about these fuckers that 100m years ago we wouldn't have seen in our way. Tell the lot of them to fuck off. Can you imasgine Maggie letting those Iranian bastards away with kidnapping our sailors in international waters. No she would have bombed Tehran and quite fucking right too. Show the bastards where they stand.

Shame about Wardog, but when your livelyhood is threatened you've got to screw the nut.
I'm not so sure the Tories will get in. Go onto Eric Pickles, "Blue Blog" and he is giving some facts from the "war room". The Tories in ENGLAND at the last election got 35.7% of the vote for 194 seats. Labour had 35.5% for 286. So you can see how it is stacked against them. They have to get seats they haven't won since the 70s, and that doesn't include the inbuilt majorities Labour have in Scotland and Wales where there will be fuck all Tories. Get your money on Labour or a hung parliamenjt at 8/1, I've been betting Labour quietly from 12/1 and if they win it's £600+ for me. No consolation, but at least I ca n afford a fortnight away from the wankers.

A £220,000 a year civil servant said...

I can confirm that a full health and safety review has been carried out on this incident and previous incidents.
The two Iranian misunderstandings were resolved. No one died and we gladly gave them our treasure.
The yacht incident was another excellent result. We suffered no casualties and only lost one yacht and two citizens.
All boxes were ticked. No silly gung ho attitudes were experienced. All procedures MUST be followed in future and any attempt to stand up for our rights will not be tolerated.
I would request that all journos and bloggers read the excellent book " Ministry of Defeat " and use these tactics in future.
Move along now nothing to see here.

Captain Pugwash said...

Ha ha. Could you imagine them trying to get the D Day landings past H&S ?
You want to storm a beach from the sea ? And err run towards machine guns and artillery ? GTF !
There are some wee gems of bravery though that squeeze past proper procedures. Ed Macey's book "Apache" describes the recovery of Royal Marine Mathew Ford by strapping marines to the outside of his helicopter. He was ready to be courtmartialled but the story got out and he was acclaimed a hero ( which he was) and he ended up getting an MC. He has since left the Army though and has to keep a secret identity for fear of reprisals from the religion of peace.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Civil Servant, it has come to my attention that you have been leaving comments on SNP political leaning blogs. This must stop forthwith. We have traced these postings to your terminal. Someone with your lowly £22k status is not senior enough to make comments on highly sensitive, "eyes only" material. However when you get your £120k bonus this year for those 2 days you spent nearly in Afghanistan, well Peckam actually, advising the troops on the ground on the best way to defuse a DVD player, well when I say defuse I mean take the DVD out. We all know this takes a bit of ingenuity and forward thinking. Well done. Just keep the comments down at the moment until I tip you the wink, so to speak or send you an e-mail (In code), of course.

Sir Reginald.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Captain. Good job there is no H&S in the styates or thet Rambo chappie would have been fucked in the first film when he walks along that road without proper headgear. I am sure that is why we beat the Hun twice. It was that they had to play by the book when we just got on with it. Or maybe it was just bravery.

CrazyDaisy said...

DL,

The dis-UK has lost serious influence across the globe over the last 20 years, there are other things to consider why we couldn't just open fire. Nor tell the Spanish to fuck off, unfortunately defence diplomacy has been Labourised!

For the record one of my pals was 2nd i/c of the boarding team - he has my utmost respect, as I said, it was in a period of peace conducting MIO not storming a beach on D-Day, a massive difference.

Anyway, time to work, cacth you later!

CD

A £220,000 a year civil servant said...

****attention****
re buttfuck fluid # kyjelly-creamy

It has come to my attention that some of our people in theatre have been claiming expenses for special lubricants prior to being butt fucked by Iranian and Somali pirates.
This will not be tolerated. All lubricants are wholly and exclusively for the use of the general public who have to pay for our Arabian adventures, EU expansion, fake carbon taxes, civil service pay, MPs' expenses etc.
Please contact your mess managers who will supply you with used dripping from the steak hot plate.

***message ends ***

Dark Lochnagar said...

Daisy, Ah for the days of Nelson when you just bombed the bastards, the fucking Somalians would have been shark meat! As for those Dago bastards, we send Scots to fight against Franco and Fascism and that's all the fucking thanks we get! :-)

Dark Lochnagar said...

Civil Servant, Sir Reginald here again. I see you are at it again young man. Your ideas are however good and therefore I will let you off without a repremand. Make sure that the bounders are not filching any of the roast meat when they take the fatty juices for lubricant. The canteen costs must be taken into account. I suppose there is no way we could charge the blighters for the fatty substance, what! Are they being butt fucked in the scud or do the pirates wear condoms. One must be careful of tropical diseases when dealing with the black natives, don't you know? An elederly Aunt of mine once got Beri-Beri from giving her black foreman a blow job on his birthday. She also had to get the sides of her mouth botoxed back into place. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

nexavar asking minors requisite verbatim ivparakhec facilitate leonid esmaili profanity untfhs
semelokertes marchimundui

Gregory Williams said...

Hi, I have visited your website,it was good as it has lots of information about part time jobs.
PART TIME JOB