THE "FLY ON THE WALL" BECOMES A REALITY!

Spies may soon be bugging conversations using actual insects. The US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency has spent years developing a whole host of cyborg critters, in the hopes of creating the ultimate 'fly on the wall'. Now a team of researchers led by Hirotaka Sato have created cyborg beetles which are guided wirelessly via a laptop.

Researchers at UC Berkeley have implanted surveillance equipment into beetles that allows them to control where they fly. Using implants, they worked out how to control a beetle's take-off, flight and landing by stimulating the brain to work the wings. They controlled turns through stimulating the basilar muscles on one side or the other to make the wings on that side flap harder.

It is thought their first use will be TO SPY ON CYCLOPS as he hurls PRINTERS, MOBILES AND SECRETARIES round his DOWNING STREET OFFICE.

Their second use will be to wait until THE LORD OF THE RING goes to the shitter and one will fly up his more than adequate ARSEHOLE and his conversations will be able to be bugged. This will fail obviously when the ONE-EYED FUCKWIT pokes it all the way in with his KNOB!