NICOLA STURGEON TONIGHT SLAPPED IGNORANT LABOUR BITCH, ANNE McGUIRE AFTER THE ELECTION PROGRAMME ON BBC2.
McGUIRE, a typical yappy Labour Party APPARTECHIK, steadfastly refused to let Nicola glow in the ANNAHIALATION OF LABOUR IN SCOTLAND, after the SNP walloped them by a minimum of 8% with the Western Isles result to come, (they won't count on a Sunday. FUCK ME COULD THEY NOT HAVE FOUND HALF A DOZEN CATHOLICS TO DO IT).
McGUIRE also insisted in talking shite about the Scottish Government and Alec's food expenses. "I just lost it and stuck one on the fat bastard" a diminutive Nicola explained, "and if she wants to bring her GRUMPY ONE EYED GAFFER, I'LL SLAP HIM TOO".
"I'm no keen on her either" said co-presenter Catriona Renton as she KICKED HER ON THE FANNY, a particularly poor place to pick as she HAD LOST ANY FEELING THERE MANY YEARS AGO, AFTER AN INCIDENT WITH A ROTTWEILER.
At this point McGUIRE'S WIG CAME OFF AND SHE LEFT THE STUDIO.