I thought as the sun was out and all seemed fair I would spend a pleasant couple of hours on my "Steamer" taking on board some rays.
I hadn't got my FAT ARSE ON THE FUCKING THING TWO MINUTES, when the twittering of birds and the gentle gurgle of my water feature, (very middle class!), were drowned out by some BASTARD CUTTING HIS FUCKING GRASS!
Do you remember before electric mowers HOW PLEASANT IT WAS TO HEAR the noise of an old fashioned manual mower as someone mowed his grass.
It got me thinking about the noises we have to put up with, traffic, planes, drunks, sobers, hedge cutters, loud music, fucking hip-hop, etc., I am sure you have plenty of your own. Why can't we have a grass cutting day so everyone does it the same time. A Tuesday would be good for me.
My next door neighbour's boys have a mate who has a supped up wee Peugeot thing with a fucking big hole in the exhaust. He roars past their house doing about 40 mph in a 20 limit and insists on peeping his FUCKING HORN to attract their attention. He then goes to the bottom of the road turns and roars back and peeps again just in case they haven't heard him the first time. Oh and he doesn't want to pick them up, he justs wants them to come out and talk to him. My wife stops me going and telling the TWAT what I think of him.
Oh and what about FUCKING ICE CREAM VANS. Why do they wait until you are on an important business call to sit outside your house with their stupid ring tone music!
I must be getting old.
THANK FUCK FOR I-PODS!