The Prime Minister was tonight left in an embarrassing position after taking part in a "gay" sex romp with Lord Mandelson.
He was last seen walking out a backdoor of NO 10,WITH A BLANKET OVER HIM!
It is thought the above position is one step more complex than the ROPE ROUND THE SCROTUM position, which recently put paid to DAVID CARRADINE.
An eminent NEURO-SURGEON was on call at the nearby ST BART'S HOSPITAL to put Mr Brown on a six month waiting list for A SPHINCTER TRANSPLANT as his old one will BE FUCKED, (literally).
It will mean that he will no longer be able to let out the NOISY RIPPING FARTS which have made him such a laugh AT CABINET.
However they will STILL FUCKING STINK.
His bouts of constipation will fortunately no longer be a problem.