The news is emerging tonight from Dover House, his official residence, that JIM MURPHY MP, may be about to have a SEX CHANGE OPERATION.
His officials have known for some time that Jim, or Brenda as he will want to be called, has been unhappy in a MAN'S BODY.
THE MAN, WHOSE BODY HE WAS IN, told him to take a running FUCK to himself.
As he told our reporter, "there I was leaning over the freezer to get a chicken and before I knew what had happened he had entered me from behind". "I was really embarrassed because I am a regular customer at TESCOS".
Jim has been very quiet the last few weeks and some have put it down to him and his WEST OF SCOTLAND CRONY MPS, SHITTING THEMSELVES, about their expense claims hitting the media, (what fucking fun we will have).
However the Scottish Lobby Correspondents know that it is the much less embarrassing SEX CHANGE STORY that is the reason!
p.s. Jim, for FUCK'S SAKE get them to do something about your ears while your in.