ROYAL WEDING SOUVENIRS AVAILABLE AT DISCOUNT FROM DL SALES

Their forthcoming nuptials have already spawned an avalanche of kitsch. Now, the latest souvenir off the production line will have Prince William and Kate Middleton immortalised in, er, wool.
The interactive book Knit Your Own Royal Wedding, which goes on sale in March, enables readers to craft the year's most talked-about marriage in yarn.


The book is available now at a special discounted rate of £19.98 from DL Enterprises, where four equal monthly payments of only £4.99 can be arranged by quoting your bank account number and three digit security code on the back of your debit card.  Cheques and cash are also acceptable.  This is just the first in a line of special wedding souvenirs which will be available.  Leave your account number now, to avoid disappointment.

ANDY MURRAY OFFICIALLY DESIGNATED AS BEING SCOTTISH

After defeat in the Australian Open Tennis Final earlier today, Andy Murray has officially been designated a Scot.


All talk of the first Brit to win a Grand Slam since Fred Perry has been downgraded to a, "I wish Tim Henman was still playing, at least he smiled when he got gubbed in the Semis".  Talk on Twitter has been even more scathing with one contributor, blaming the SNP and Alex Salmond and saying that Murray has "an iron bar up his arse"!


His Mother's choice of clothes for the final, was equally critcised, with Linda McCartney, saying "that she looked as if she shopped at Oxfam".  One Scottish contributor, (me), asked the question, "are all Serbians, Gay", after the two coaches of the victor were seen holding hands and kissing.


It is reported that the LTA are secretly pleased that Murray got beat as the thought of 5000 drunken Tartan Army Scots rampaging across the hallowed lawns and taking, Tim's 'Henman Hill', are too horrific to contemplate.

UNIONIT PARTIES VOTE DOWN SENSIBLE SNP SUPERMARKET TAX

The Local Government and Communities Committee rejected the Scottish Government's plans for a levy on supermarkets on 26 January 2010.  The scheme seeks to impose additional business rates on large retailers.

The Liberal Democrat MSP Jeremy Purvis moved the motion which recommended the proposal be dropped.   It was carried by five votes to three with no abstentions. 
The SNP government had planned to raise £30 million through the levy.

Why was this scheme voted down?  £30 million is a lot of money.  It seems sensible to charge Supermarkets extra to make up for the damage they have done to our town centres and small businesses.  Ok, we all use them, but their profits are obscene and they should be contributing more to their local communities.  They will pay plenty to get in and build new stores, so why not when they're built.

 Were palms greased?

CABLE GUILTY OF BANKERISM!

Vince Cable should be sacked for using a BANKERISM.  What kind of country is this, when we don't worship our Bankers?

THERE'S SOMETHING SMELLING FISHY AT SKY SPORTS!

While the above picture of the assistant referee, the girl Massey, as they would say in football parlance, is a bit unfair because she seemingly had a good game, it was the catalyst that led to the sacking of Andy Gray.

Now as most of you know I don't usually blog about sport, but this is not really any longer a sport story.  Gray has been instrumental in bringing about the success of Sky Sports, through his excellent knowledge and ability to communicate his thoughts on the Sport that the majority of men, if not all follow.  No, this is not about football, but instead about ISMs.

The first ISM is feminISM.  I've been going to live football matches for over 40 years and in that time, the fan base has changed from being predominantly male, to about 30% female.  Men used to go through a 'right of passage' at the football with their male mates after going there with their fathers.  I got mates on Facebook, who used to go to the football with me 40 years ago and we haven't seen each other since, but there is still that bond.  Why has it changed?  Well, in addition to the FeminISM issue of wanting to do things that men do, (try and get into the W.I. as a man though), there is also the case that families split up more easily now and more women now take young males to the football, rather than men.

This young lady, is Charlotte Jackson, who finally put the nail into Andy Gray and Richard Keys' careers by complaining about a sexist remark, said OFF CAMERA, as were all the other remarks which contributed to their downfall.  Well, Charlotte, in my book, if you want to complain about sexist remarks, DON'T APPEAR IN LAD MAGAZINES, IN THE SCUD.  (Although she has a very nice scuddy body,  IMO, if that's not sexISM).


The second ISM is ZionISM as displayed by Rupert Murdoch.  Now I know he's not Jewish, but as Jewish people will tell you, that doesn't stop you being a Zionist.  Andy Gray, as it happens is suing the 'News of the World', as a result of the phone hacking scandal which is emerging.  Now as I'm sure that you'll know, the News of the World are owned at least in part, by Newscorp, which in turn is owned by the Murdoch family.  It all seems very convenient to me.  How do you know BTW, when you're a white, male, working taxpayer.  Well, you don't have an ISM!

SUE THE ARSE OF THE AUSSIE BASTARD, ANDY!

MAN SOUGHT IN EDINBURGH OVER SHEEP SHAGGING!

A man was spotted carrying out an indecent attack on a lamb which was later found dead, police said today.
The alleged assault took place in a field near Silverknowes Road in Edinburgh on Sunday morning.

The man is reported to be in his 20s, although police have not issued any description of the suspect. A police spokesman urged anyone with information to contact them immediately. He said: "Lothian and Borders Police are investigating after a male was seen performing an indecent act on a lamb. 


Might I suggest that the Police look in the Labour ranks in Parliament at Holyrood.  There are one or two there who look like they could shag a sheep, mind you most of them look as if they're shagging each other.  And that's just the women!

JUST FOR THE LOVERS AMONGST YOU

A HAPPY BURNS DAY TO ALL!

Written when Burns disturbed a mouse's nest in a field with his plough 


TO A MOUSE 

Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murdering pattle.


I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
An' fellow mortal!


I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't.


Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's win's ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!


Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.


That wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou's turned out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld.


But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!


Still thou are blest, compared wi' me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But och! I backward cast my e'e,
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!

FUCK ME! NOW WE'VE GOT A LGBT SQUASH CLUB WITH A GOVERNMENT GRANT!

Britain’s first gay squash club has been given a £6,500 Government grant to help recruit lesbian and transgender players to the sport. 
The cash from Sport England will also be used encourage bisexuals to take advantage of free coaching sessions, as well as funding equipment  

4Play Squash, (fuck me!), based at the Finsbury Leisure Centre, in Camden, north London, was formed 21 years ago.  Its committee secured the Sport England money by promising to “help develop squash in the gay community…particularly gay women”. 
Greg Wallace, 27, said: "I had to cancel my gym membership, but the Government is paying out all this money so gay people can play squash? "Why can't the bent bastards just buy a racket and ball and go for a game with a friend? 


Its a funny thing, when you're running a blog, particularly when you're a wanker like me, but  sometimes stories just jump out at you.  Commenters, not so much here but on Twatter,  will say, "Oh not poofs again, or Jews or LGBT, or the Establishment, or the Monarchy, but that's the way life is.

A gay squash club?  What the fuck is that all about?  Why can't a bender go and have a game in an ordinary club?  As long as they don't indulge in overt sexual activity, who the fuck is going to know?  I think most men would know, BTW, but that's a different story!  Why does it need a  grant from Sports England in these austere times? 

Is it any wonder that we Heterosexuals laugh at these twats?

GIVE US WALLACE'S LETTER BACK OR WE'LL COME DOWN AND KICK SHITE OUT OF YOU!

A war of words has broken out between English and Scottish academics over the ownership of a 700-year-old letter to Scots national hero William Wallace.

The letter, widely believed to have been snatched from Wallace when he was captured by the English, should be returned to Scotland, according to historians north of the border.

And the Scottish Government has now renewed its appeal to have the letter - which granted Wallace safe passage to visit the pope in 1300 - transferred to The Scottish National Archives.

If we don't get it pronto, we'll be down with the Prince across the Water to kick the shite out of you, English bastards and this time we won't be stopping at Derby, not even if you offer us deep fried Mars bars, we'll be eating nothing but a handful of cold haggis, which we keep in our sporns, because we've no Bawbees after that bastard Osborne cut our buroo money!


If that doesn't work, we'll send down some more politicians!  We've got a Parliament full of them and they're nearly all Unionits, who are dying to get enriched in the 'Mother of all Parliaments'!

SCHOOLKIDS AS YOUNG AS 4 TO BE TAUGHT HOMOSEXUALITY!

Children as are to be taught about homosexuality in maths, geography and science lessons as part of a Government-backed drive to "celebrate the gay community". 

The lesson plans, spread across the curriculum, will be offered to all schools. Lesson plans have been drawn up for pupils as young as four, in a scheme funded with a £35,000 grant from an education quango, the Training and Development Agency for Schools. 

The initiative will be officially launched next month at the start of "LGBT History Month" –(WTF?), an initiative to encourage teaching about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual issues. 

So this is why, you voted for a change, after the last 13 years of Labour shite and what do you get? More of the same.  Is this the stuff you want taught to your children and grandchildren?  Is the penny beginning to drop?  Have we, 'conspiracy nuts', maybe had a point for years.  Could the Marxist theories which had their roots in a Jewish cabal in Russia in the 1910s, which brought about the revolution, be about to come to fruition?  Is the World working towards a morphed, light-brown citizen, who are controlled by the bankers and the Establishment?


If so what are, YOU, going to do about it?  We have to organise.  We have to resist.  We have to ignore the MSM.  We have to worry not about Muslims, but about the Religion, (I refuse to call them a race), who control WESTERN SOCIETY.  Use the internet now to learn, before it's shut down, as it will be.  Resist wars, which only make money for industrialists.  Look through the news, think what is it they want us to believe and believe the opposite.  Download the 'fish' logo at the top of my blog and use it on yours.

BUT, ALWAYS REMEMBER, THEY ARE FEW AND WE ARE MANY!

Shanghai 1990-2010  Be afraid-Be very afraid

 

I WISH BERLUSCONI WAS OUR PM- A REAL MAN -NOT LIKE THE NANCY BOYS WE'VE GOT.

Fourteen women named as guests in a sex probe involving Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi have been evicted from their homes after the residents association complained they ‘lowered the tone.’  The women all lived rent-free in the complex after being given the apartments by Berlusconi, 74, and were regulars at his infamous ‘bunga bunga’ sex parties.  (Does anyone know what a bunga bunga party is)?

Why is it in Italy, the male politicians are red blooded Heterosexuals like Berlusconi shagging young birds at 74 and all we've got is a bunch of sexually inadequate 'NANCY-BOYS', like Mandelson, Laws and Hague?  Nice to have someone, who doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks, especially not some rug-munching Lesbian, or some fucking Health and Safety official worried about the strength of his condoms.  Melanoma?  Doesn't give a fuck!  He's almost tangerine.


Most men will tell you, that if, they had the choice of being Berlusconi or Clegg/Cameron, they would pick old Silvio, every time.

MAN ARRESTED IN CARLISLE FOR BURNING A KORAN!

A man has been arrested after a Koran was allegedly burned during an anti-Islamic rant. Police confirmed a man had been held. He had reportedly been standing in Carlisle city centre yesterday, loudly making pronouncements against the Muslim religion in front of a large crowd.

The man is then alleged to have set fire to the Koran he was holding before discarding it on the floor and hurrying away.  'Police have seized the remains of the book and a 32-year-old male has been arrested on suspicion of using racially aggravated threatening words or behaviour.

"RACIALLY AGGRAVATED THREATENING WORDS OR BEHAVIOUR"?  Fuck me that's a mouthful.  If he was making "pronouncements against the Muslim religion", then how can that be 'RACIALLY', threatening?  Any second year law student could drive a horse and carriage through that one.  

Has it finally come to the point in this country, (UK), where freedom of speech is banned?  Have the traditions of the 'Speakers' corner' been extinguished or is it just that the country plods in Carlisle don't know their arse from their elbow?  Are the police force in this country, becoming an instrument of State Control?  There is a move to get a National Police Force in Scotland, a move I deplore.  Cost cutting, as usual, is the Politicians excuse.  Either that or, 'improving the service'.  Which all means, be it SNP, Tory, Labour or Libdums, more state control.  Where will it end?

BARONESS WARSI COMPLAINS ABOUT ISLAMOPHOBIA IN THE UK!

 

Islamophobia has “passed the dinner-table test” and is seen by many as normal and uncontroversial, Baroness Warsi will say in a speech on Thursday.  The minister without portfolio will also warn that describing Muslims as either “moderate” or “extremist” fosters growing prejudice. 

This may surprise you, but broadly, I agree with her.  There is no doubt however that we face a serious problem in this country with a large Muslim population.  In 2001, there were 1.6 million Muslims in Britain. Last year there were 2.9 million.  Not a big difference I hear you say.  But it is an increase of 81%.  Now if we extrapolate that figure roughly until 2050, then the Muslim population of Britain will be 31 MILLION.  Now in a time when the 'native' population of Britain is shrinking or at the very best staying level, that becomes a huge pressure group.  Whether these increases come about because of immigration or a higher birth rate, I don't know, I don't have the figures, but if it's immigration then we must do something now, because I for one, don't want to see my country swamped by immigrants who won't, or are unable to adopt our host culture for whatever reason.

So, why do I say I broadly agree.?  Well I think it's time we, the people, had a debate in this country how we want to proceed.  Not by politicians, at least the ones who currently run our country, nor the Monarchy and the Establishment whose traitorous deeds have sold us down the river to the EU, but, the people.  If that means that new political parties and leaders emerge whether through the ballot box or by protest, so be it.  Muslims, at least in my limited experience, perhaps do not integrate well but work hard to run businesses and I would imagine pay what tax is due.  They are in your face and I know that there are one or two suicide bombers, but how many of them are people with the intellectual capacity  to know the difference between right or wrong is debatable, but you would always fight a Muslim on a one to one basis.  They do not control, Banks, the Media and Western Governments.  I'm sure you know where I'm going with this, so I won't persist!  

BUT THE DAY IS COMING, I THINK, WHEN HARD CHOICES ARE GOING TO HAVE BE MADE AND IN 40 YEARS, THE MUSLIMS MIGHT BE OUR ALLIES.

 

WTF IS HAPPENING-I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING RID OF THIS PC SHITE?

More 20 MPH zones planned to SAVE CARBON EMMISIONS


Mothers to be taught how to cuddle their babies


Segways not allowed to be used on pavements or roads

I thought the coalition were saying they were getting rid of this PC shite?

 WTF, happened?  

ANTI HOMOSEXUAL BED AND BREAKFAST COUPLE FINED-BUT IS IT RIGHT?

Mr and Mr Smith would like the honeymoon suite, George.

I see the couple who run the Bed and Breakfast establishment in their home, who were set up by a couple of activist Homosexuals, have been fined £1,800. I blogged on this in March last year and we had a good debate then, but without going over old ground and for the benefit of new readers, does this seem fair?

Briefly, the case was brought by a couple of Homosexuals who targeted a Christian Couple's Bed and Breakfast, which they ran in their own home as a small business.  This was done deliberately to test the Christian couple's beliefs of Homosexuality.  The case was brought by the EHRC, (the Equalities and Human Rights Commission), who paid for the Homosexuals legal costs.  The Judge gave them leave to appeal the case to a higher court, which illustrated to me, that perhaps he wasn't in full agreement of the law or wasn't sure of his legal ground.

So who's case was the strongest?  The Homosexual activists or the Christian couple.  Are all people equal but some people are more equal than others?  What would I have done?  Well as most of you know, I don't have any religious convictions, but I am certainly Homophobic to a certain degree, like most Heterosexual men, if they were being truthful.  I would have allowed them in, on the condition, that if they made a mess of the sheets, they were going to pay extra, as I would with a Heterosexual couple, if I was being honest.

Actually, I'm a lying bastard,  I would have told them we were full up or made some other excuse.