ISRAEL MUST BECOME A NATION INSTEAD OF A RABBLE.

Israel has carried out air strikes on targets in Gaza after militants in the territory fired a rocket into the Jewish city of Ashkelon, the first such attack in more than a year.
Late Friday aircraft shot at least four missiles at buildings used by Hamas security forces in Gaza City, wounding eight, medics said. Warplanes also hit smuggling tunnels on the border with Egypt, without causing casualties, witnesses said.

I've withheld the above horrific photo from another such incident in Gaza.  Surely the time has come for Israel to act as a nation, instead of an avenging angel.  Yes I know about the HOLACAUST and yes that was a terrible time, but no one says that GYPSIES OR HOMOSEXUALS, who were equally horrifically treated should have a homeland. I know, there is a threat from Muslim nations around Israel, but there is no chance of them causing trouble or invading whilst the U.S. and the U.K. administrations are packed with Jewish people who are sympathetic to Israel.

 For fuck's sake, give the PALESTINIANS  a bit of land and don't allow anyone to encroach on it.  If some militants fire some rockets, complain to their Government, duly elected by the Palestinians and let them deal with it.  Hitler and his cronies were 70 years ago, grow up and take your place in the World.

CAMERON BATS FOR BRITAIN. ABOUT TIME SOMEONE DID!

David Cameron insisted yesterday he would continue to speak his mind on world affairs, despite offending two international allies in as many days.
The Prime Minister has angered both Pakistan and Israel with outspoken comments this week, according to a D.L. correspondent travelling with the PM.  Yesterday it emerged that Pakistan is to hold crisis talks with Britain next week over Mr Cameron's suggestion that it 'exports terror'. Its high commissioner to the UK, Wajid Shamsul Hasan, accused Mr Cameron of 'damaging the prospects of regional peace'.

Fucking hard cheese mate.  It's time someone stood up for Britain and stopped pandering to these fucking third world wankers.  Israel has influence way above it's size, with many Members of both the US and the UK Governments, being Jewish and more importantly, Zionist.  It's back to the old cricket question, who do you support, England or your ethnic ancestral country.  That's the trouble with Britain today.  It's filled with people who's first allegiance is to another country and not Britain.  India were complaining about the lack of opportunity for Indians to settle here, well try and set a business up in India, if you're British without an Indian ethnicity.

So Dave, hunker down and send some gunboats up the fucking Yangtze, WHAT?

OBAMA ADMINISTRATION WERE COMPLICIT IN RELEASE OF MEGRAHI!

The Lockerbie scandal has just become even murkier. According to a report yesterday, “the US government secretly advised Scottish ministers that it would be “far preferable” to free the Lockerbie bomber than jail him in Libya.”
D.L.obtained a leaked document which reveals that Richard LeBaron, deputy head of the US embassy in London, had written to Alex Salmond, Scottish First Minister, ahead of the release of the Lockerbie bomber. The correspondence indicates that the Obama administration’s opposition to the “compassionate” release of the Lockerbie bomber may not have been as clear-cut as it has subsequently claimed. In the August 12, 2009 letter, the senior US official appeared to condone “a conditional release on compassionate grounds” of convicted Libyan intelligence agent Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, if Scottish officials were determined to proceed with the release of al-Megrahi against the wishes of Washington.

There had to be American involvement.  The most powerful nation in Earth are thirsty for Libyan oil.  They would be pleased as punch secretly when Scotland released him.  Megrahi is a patsy.  Let's go to the HAGUE and not be vague and have a proper enquiry where everything is put on the table.

AMERICA CAN'T ACCOUNT FOR $8.7BILLION SPENT IN IRAQ!!!!!!!!!!!

An audit has discovered the U.S. Defense Department can't properly account for how it spent about 95 per cent of $9.1billion in Iraqi oil money earmarked for rebuilding the war-ravaged country.
The U.S. Special Investigator for Iraq Reconstruction report released today said there was shoddy record keeping and a lack of oversight of the $8.7billion. The Pentagon cannot account at all for $2.6billion spent between 2004 and 2007.

I'll just repeat that, THEY CAN'T ACCOUNT AT ALL FOR $2600,000,000.  How fucking amazing is that.  There must be some BLOODY RICH IRANIANS!  Now can any of you  Labour supporters, stand with a STRAIGHT FACE and tell me that the Iraq war was to do with WMD!  Because if you can, then the only thing that I have to say to you is, HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU?

DO THE MSM AND THE NWO THINK WE'RE STUPID?

UPDATE:  I'VE JUST REALISED THIS PILE OF SHITE IS MY 1000TH BLOG POST!

• No10 says 'We lament any leaks' as White House slams breach
• UK Security Minister fears British soldiers are now at greater risk
• Documents reveal British forces killed 16 Afghan children 'in error'
• Special forces 'black' squads hunt Taliban leaders
• French soldiers shot at a bus full of schoolchildren
• Polish troops killed wedding party in mortar attack
• Taliban target aircraft with deadly heat-seeking missiles

Which, if any, of the above statements do you find strange?  Personally there are none of them surprise me.  I don't also believe in this pish about some whistle blower.  This is a CIA black op if ever I saw one.  A year ago, I might have fallen for it, but I have become more and more cynical the more I learn about our 'war' in Afghanistan and Iraq.  As usual our brave young men are dying as pawns of the fucking politicians. 

Is there no POLITICIAN in this country, is going to stand up and say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"!  Are we gullible bastards, fed a diet of war and shite on the telly, going to stand up and  say "FUCK THIS, FOR A GAME OF SODJERS"!  (Scottish Expression).  Because I'll tell you one thing, if we don't our Grandchildren are fucked.  Me?  I don't care.  The D.L. line dies with me!

SCOTLAND MUST NOT FALL FOR THE CALMAN POCKET MONEY TRAP!

Professors Andrew Hughes Hallett and Drew Scott have warned that Calman changes will have a "more severe" effect in Scotland than in other parts of the UK, and that recommendations from the commission could result in a 25% cut in spending, lost income tax revenue and an inability to use higher VAT to compensate.
"The emergency Budget  shows why Calman couldn’t work, with the GERS figures showing a Scottish surplus of £1.3 billion compared to a UK-wide deficit of £48.9 billion completes the case for Scotland to be responsible for our own resources.

Scotland should not fall into this UNIONIST TRAP.  They want to allow us to vary tax by 10p, while they hammer down our block grant from WESTMINSTER to compensate.  This is POCKET MONEY.  If Westminster and the Unionist parties want to give SCOTLAND tax powers, allow us to raise and spend all our taxes with full FISCAL INDEPENDENCE.  We'll pay you for our defence etc and the UNION will be strengthened not weakened.  NOT!

CHINESE SENTENCE JOURNALIST TO 15 YEARS FOR TALKING TO THE WEST-DOES IT MATTER, DOES IT FUCK.

A Chinese court in the troubled western province of Xinjiang has sentenced an ethnic Uighur journalist to 15 years in prison for "endangering state security" by speaking to foreign reporters.   Niyaz, 51, gave an interview to a Hong Kong newspaper one month after riots broke out in Xinjiang, leaving at least 197 people dead and 1,600 injured.

Should this matter to us in the West?  Yes, in my opinion.  Should we be doing business with such a brutal gang?  No, in my opinion.  Will our leaders care?  No, in my opinion.  Will it stop them doing business?  Definitely not, in my opinion.  My conclusion?  We live in a World with a bunch of pricks as Leaders. 

Does it matter?  Does it fuck!  BUT IT SHOULD.

WHY SHOULD VENABLES IDENTITY BE KEPT A SECRET?

Today, above, I reveal a picture of Venables, as see by the Judge in the Old Bailey.  Venables 23, was convicted of downloading child pornography and drug offences and sentenced to two years, possibly without parole.
This rare picture of Venables was taken in 1994, when he was a Manager of an England Football Team.  Although he took training sessions with the players, it was from a video link from the halfway line and his identity was hidden at all times by a screen.  When he played football with some other lads of his age notably in the Chelsea and Tottenham areas of London, his identity was hidden by a brown paper bag with some eyes cut out of it.  It used to get soggy and very heavy if it rained during the game.  The newspapers of the day marvelled at how he was able to score so many goals.  Only when he went on holiday one time, to Barcelona, was he able to play and manage in a lightweight, plastic model.

I am revealing this photograph and identity of Venables in the hope that it might help the players and fans he scarred during his time in football to draw a line under their hurt and sorrow.  If this blog does not re-appear, you will know that I have been taken down and possibly arrested for breaking the court rules, but I do so in a strike, I hope, against censorship.

THE LESBIAN VICAR, HER HUSBAND AND HER BULL-BREEDING LOVER!

After a female vicar left her husband and children and moved in with a female parishioner, gossip spread that the two women were lovers.
She denied she was a lesbian, as did her close friend, cattle-breeder Michele Wilde.
But a year after the D.L. revealed the scandal that rocked the country parish, there has been an astonishing development.  Mrs Morton, 42, has resigned and been paid off by the church - and, despite her original denials, is now living openly as a lesbian. She has told her sons she has a female partner and is even touting for new lovers on the Internet.  And in an a remarkable twist, her estranged husband Michael is now enjoying a relationship with Mrs Wilde, the woman with whom his wife was falsely accused of having an affair.


Ms Wilde told D.L., "I wasn't too sure about this lesbian thing, after all my bulls don't shag each other.  We tried all sorts of fancy dildos, but for me cock is definitely the best.  It's got a sort of 'fleshy feel' that you can't replicate properly in a vibrator.  I used to call Jean, 'Greenock Morton', because she always went down and although I admit she is better at 'rug-munching' than her husband, I'm glad to be back to straight sex.
 
Now as many of you know, I have quite a large Gay following, so what do you think girls, IS COCK BEST?

WELL DONE ALL IN THE SCOTTISH GOVERNMENT-YOU TOLD THEM TO FUCK OFF!

THE Scottish Government has flatly rejected a request by senators in Washington to testify on its role in the decision to free the Lockerbie bomber.
Within minutes of the request being made, the Scottish Government announced that neither Mr MacAskill nor Dr Fraser would be accepting the invitation.The Scottish Government justified the decision on the grounds that they had "no contact of any kind" with BP.
Instead they say they will only deal with questions from senators in writing, and from this side of the Atlantic. 

Well done my Government.  I asked you to tell them to FUCK OFF and YOU DID!  Quite rightly.  How dare a legislature in another sovereign country ask the leaders of another country to appear before them.  Tell Obama to come over here and explain RENDITION FLIGHTS landing at Prestwick Airport.
Jack Straw and the original POODLE, TONY BLAIR have also been 'invited' and although I hate RAT BOY AND WEASEL, I hope they turn it down as well.

Kenny MacAskill has however said that he doesn't mind appearing at a meeting to be convened in the Hague.  That's it KENNY, get the Yanks on strange turf and then bring up all the shite we know has been buried by the CIA about Lockerbie and the part they played in it and what they knew prior to it happening.  Oh and you could maybe ask them about the part the American Government played in getting oil exploration rights in Libya for their oil companies.  Four times more than what BP, have had.

MORE ARROGANT PRICK POLITICIANS, THIS TIME BRITISH!

MPs today voiced their anger over a new protest camp set up only yards from where Democracy Village was dismantled.  Politicians called the affair a “total farce”, saying the cluster of about 15 tents is just as big an eyesore as before.
Sir Malcolm Rifkind, Conservative MP for Kensington and Chelsea, said: “It is a completely unacceptable situation. There are the same problems as before, with waste and litter and general unsightliness.“I just hope they will be removed quickly and successfully. If nothing is done, they will just stay there and hang on for as long as they can.”  Yes Malcolm, you should see the fucking 'general unsightliness' of some of the SHITHOLES where people are expected to live, but then again I don't suppose you see to many of them in Chelsea now that you've got booted out, in Edinburgh.  No WESTERHAILES there then!  They will not 'stay there as long as they can', they are a legitimate DEMOCRATIC PROTEST against the war and they will disappear as soon as that stops and OUR TROOPS COME HOME.  Do you think they WANT to sleep on a pavement, NUMBNUTS?
A former Labour minister said: "It is a total farce — they have just moved from the grass to the pavement. It is as big an eyesore as ever it was. They should have been hosed off the square months ago and not allowed to come back".

Time these ARROGANT FUCKERS remembered why we elected them.  To SERVE our needs not to rail against legitimate democratic protesters who have MORE EGALITARIANISM IN THEIR LITTLE FINGERS THAT THESE ARSEHOLES HAVE IN THEIR ENTIRE BODY! 

SORRY BUT THESE AMERICAN SENATORS ARE REALLY GETTING ON MY TITS!

Sorry folks to bang on about these FUCKING AMERICAN SENATORS, I was going to post about something else tonight, but I saw the following piece in The Telegraph and it made my blood boil.

The US Senate Foreign Relations Committee is expected to summon executives from the firm as well as former ministers to account for their role in the controversial release at a hearing next week.
Sen Bob Menendez of New Jersey, who will chair the hearing, said yesterday that the senators "wanted information about how the doctors got it so wrong" and wanted to know more about the "interplay between the British and Scottish governments and the interplay between BP and the former British government".

Well let me tell you one thing.  If any senior member of the Scottish Executive is SUMMONED and goes to the hearing, they can stick my SNP membership card right up their crevasse when they get back!   You would have thought that the American Senate would have learnt their lesson the last time they summoned a SCOTSMAN, when GORGEOUS GEORGE made a fucking arse of them!  Just imagine what will happen, if they get one with BRAINS!

A MESSAGE FROM SCOTLAND TO THE USA-FUCK OFF!

Let me preface this post by saying that I am not anti-American.  If I was not Scottish, I would quite have liked to have been American as I like American people.

I am however fucking enraged by all this shite from the U.S. about Megrahi and  BP.  Whether it was right or wrong to release Megrahi and I personally think it was right, Lockerbie is a Scottish Town and he was tried in Scotland and released by the Scottish Government.  I am aware there were Americans killed in the atrocity as there was Brits killed in 9/11, but it is not America's place to tell us how to run our country!
America has enough problems of it's own, what with Guantanimo Bay, rendition flights and Bhopal, to name but three.  It wasn't so long ago, the U.S. was welcoming with open arms,  McGuinness and Adams, like long lost friends rather than the bloody terrorists, they were, at the time.  I've been in pubs in New York when collections were taken for the 'struggle in the old country'.  Indeed I got into a heated argument with a wanker from Galway, when I didn't contribute.

So my message to Senator Schumer and his buddies is FUCK OFF!  To President Obama, FUCK OFF!  To American big business and in particular Haliburton, FUCK OFF!  To the CIA and the FBI, FUCK OFF!  Oh and lastly, David Cameron, FUCK OFF!

NOW EVEN SYRIA BANS THE GURKHA!

Syria has banned  the wearing of Gurkhas from the country's universities.



The Education Ministry's ban comes as similar moves in Europe - and calls for one in England - spark cries of discrimination against Muslims.  Syria is not a Muslim country. An official at the ministry says the ban affects public and private universities and aims to protect Syria's secular identity.

IN MY OPINION, Muslim women should continue to wear those nice veily thingies which show off their eyes.  Why the fuck they would want to wear some twat from Nepal, with a big knife, round their head, is beyond me!

A GURKHA BEHEADS A DEAD TALIBAN AND HE'S ARRESTED? WTF!

A Gurkha soldier in the British Army has been removed from duty in Afghanistan after he beheaded a dead Taliban commander with his ceremonial kukri knife.
The Nepalese private decapitated the dead man with the intention of returning to base with the head so the Taliban fighter could be identified by senior officers as a 'high value target'.  He was unable to remove the whole body as he came under heavy machine gun fire.  Desecrating a dead man's body is considered offensive in Afghanistan, where local custom dictates that the entire body is buried, even if body parts have to be retrieved to do so. And under the Geneva conventions, (WHEN DID THE TALIBAN SIGN IT, BTW), on the conduct of war, soldiers are banned from demeaning enemy combatants.  The Gurkha is confined to barracks in Kent.  He could face a court martial and could even be jailed if he is found guilty of beheading the fighter.

The fucking Taliban are putting people into our bases and opening fire on unarmed soldiers.  They plant IEDs along the road, killing and maiming scores of our Troops.  I say let the Gurkhas loose on the bastards and the more severed TALIBAN HEADS they are able to bring back to camp the better.  It will maybe convince the Taliban that they are not winning this war and make them keener to come to the negotiating table, where ultimately this fucking sorry mess will have to end!

DARLING, THIS RESTAURANT IS A SHITEHOUSE, LITERALLY!

SEE MORE HERE

IS IT ANY WONDER THE BNP ARE TAKING LABOUR VOTERS!

h/t SmithNN8

Is this the impression that the 'SOCIALIST WORKER'  or he 'ANTI-NAZI' league want to give off to their supporters.  A  RADICAL DWARF and a SKINNY 'LADY-BOY'.  FUCK ME!  It's no wonder Labour voters are flocking to the BNP!

A WEE TALE ABOUT GREEK TOILETS

I remember being in Athens airport and being caught short, I managed to find the one toilet out of six that had a roll of bog paper. As you probably know, it's the custom in Greece to put your used toilet paper in a bin rather than down the shunky, because of their poor sanitation. Which got me thinking as I sat there, what would happen if you were really caught short and you did the business in a toilet without clean paper, which you only discovered when it was too late. Would you trawl through the bin of used toilet paper looking for a bit that was reasonably clean?

BLAIR IS SECRET LIBYAN ADVISER!

Tony Blair was flown to Libya for secret talks with Colonel Gaddafi just days after denying he was an adviser to the dictator.
Mr Blair was 'entertained as a brother', a senior Libyan government source has revealed.  He told the D.L. that the former prime minister had offered Gaddafi, with whom he is on first-name terms, 'a great deal of invaluable advice'.  They discussed a wide range of international and domestic issues, including lucrative investment opportunities.  The meeting, in Tripoli last month, came shortly after Mr Blair's spokesman flatly denied that he had any 'formal or informal', 'paid or unpaid' advisory role to Gaddafi.
The revelation will heap pressure on Mr Blair - now a Middle East peace envoy - over his links to the Libyan regime and potential conflicts of interest between his public and private roles.

BLAIR is a SLIMEY ROACH!  He has become a 'WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME', bastard.  The answer is FUCKING PLENTY!  He is a money making machine WITHOUT PRINCIPLES.  He would sell his SOUL TO THE DEVIL to make more money.  No wonder his wife is SHAGGING FRANK BRUNO!  I sincerely hope that the fucker DIES OF SOMETHING VERY PAINFUL, SOON.

FRIDAY GOSSIP COLUMN-FRANK BRUNO SHAGGING CHERIE BLAIR!

Both have occasionally felt bruised over the years, so it is perhaps not so surprising that Cherie Blair and Frank Bruno are finding solace in each other's company in the calming atmosphere of one of the country's best-known health spas.
"They have been seeing a lot of each other just lately," whispers my woman undergoing a "pro-lift" firming facial at Champneys in Tring, Herts.
"Frank lives nearby and trains in the gym virtually daily and Cherie often comes in to get a good seeing to from the back by Frank, over the parallel bars.  She seems to get turned on by his manly smell.  The word is he has been giving her advice about some new sexual positions from an old copy of the 'KARMA SUTRA' he got from HARRY CARPENTER, just before he died. She seems very keen to shed some pounds and all the shagging that Frank is giving her seems to be working so well that some other members are wanting to be seen to, as well, including Anne Widdecombe, Lord Mandelson and Maggie Thatcher, bless her, at her age."

A spokesmen for Mrs Blair declined to comment yesterday but Frank told the Telegraph, "yeh!  Yeh!  I gived some of the old geezers one, when they wants.  Me and the wife is very happy together and I isn't leaving her! 

WHAT'S THE WEATHER GOING TO BE IF IT SNOWS ON ST. SWITHIN'S DAY?

ME, THIS MORNING, SWEEPING THE PATH!

I know all this shite about it raining for 40 days and 40 nights if it rains today, St. Swithin's day, but WHAT HAPPENS IF IT SNOWS?

THE NO MOSQUE AT GROUND ZERO AD THAT CNN AND NBC WON'T AIR!

FACEBOOK SHOULD TAKE DOWN THE RIP RAOUL MOAT SITES

Facebook has rebuffed a call by David Cameron for the removal of tributes to the gunman Raoul Moat which have been left on the social networking site. 
The Prime Minister condemned the online praise being paid to the "callous murderer" yesterday and instructed Downing Street to raise its concerns with the company over the web page of the "RIP Raoul Moat You Legend" group.

I don't always agree with Cameron but in this case I think he's right.  This bastard was a thug who was involved in the drug industry in Newcastle for 20 plus years.  Christ knows how many young people he sent to an early grave.  He is not a puppy dog or some contestant on Big Brother, he was a homicidal bastard who was probably mentally unhinged but that doesn't excuse him from murdering an innocent person and trying to kill others.  The only one who thought he was a great guy, was some brain dead, ex-footballer who is in a state of being permanently drunk most of the time and even when he's sober has problems stringing two words together.

BRITAIN'S DEBT MOUNTAIN IS COSTING US EACH £65,000

Every man, woman and child in the country is carrying a £65,000 share of state debt, according to the first official breakdown of how much the Government really owes. 
The estimate from the Office for National Statistics, (an independent Government department),  puts the real level of the national debt at £4trillion – double the amount calculated by independent analysts.  An average household would have to work for five years to pay off its portion of the vast sum.

Only now do we see Labour's failed legacy.  I hope now their activists will SHUT THE FUCK UP and let the TORIES get on with sorting out the country's finances as ALWAYS HAPPENS AFTER A LABOUR GOVERNMENT has been in office.

As for you SCOTLAND, you should be FUCKING ASHAMED of yourselves for voting Labour!

ICELAND ARREST TOP BANKERS, WHY AREN'T WE?

Vigorously pursuing those allegedly responsible for Iceland’s 2008 financial crisis, investigators have  issued an international arrest warrant against Sigurdur Einarsson, chairman of the board of governors of the failed Kaupthing Bank.
An Interpol notice on Tuesday said Einarsson was wanted on charges of counterfeiting, forgery and fraud.
Einarsson, who lives in London, was said to be reluctant to come to Reykjavik for fear of being arrested and Icelandic authorities have refused to offer any assurances.


Why aren't we arresting our Bankers that caused the FINANCIAL CRISIS?  Instead we reward them for failing with increased salaries and bonuses.  Could it be that ICELAND is a small country where the Government is much closer to the people?

h/t Cuthulan

MUSLIM CHILDREN BANNED FROM SWIMMING DURING RAMADAN IN CASE THEY SWALLOW WATER AND BREAK THEIR FAST!

Swimming lessons in some Staffordshire schools should stop during Ramadan to ensure Muslim pupils "do not swallow water", a council has suggested.
Stoke-on-Trent City Council has issued an 11-page Ramadan guide for schools to help pupils who may be fasting when the school year starts in September.
It said swimming was acceptable to Muslims but posed a high risk of swallowing water that may break a fast.

FUCK ME!  I thought we were getting rid of this shite.  IS IT OK IF THEY SPIT IT OUT?  (I was going to make a comment about girls and gays there but I better not.)

h/t don't call me Dave

SCOTTISH BISHOP OPPOSES ACT OF SETTLEMENT WHICH BARS CATHOLICS FROM THE THRONE.

A Scottish bishop has criticised Prime Minister David Cameron for failing to act quickly to scrap the law preventing Catholics from taking the throne.
Joseph Devine, Bishop of Motherwell, said the Act of Settlement was a "scandalous" law that discriminated against members of his faith.
The act was passed by the English parliament in 1701 and extended to Scotland after the union.

As it happens I agree with Bishop Devine, it is a disgrace that Charles could marry a Muslim, Hindu or a Scientologist but is barred from marrying a Catholic if he wants to succeed to the throne.  Catholics after all make a large part of the population and the law was obviously brought in as some type of ANTI-JACOBITE ruling.  It was passed over 300 years ago it's time it was changed.  BTW I don't think we need any input from our former Scottish Secretary, A****OLE Jim Murphy.

BRITISH MINISTER SUGGESTS WE CANCEL AIRCRAFT CARRIERS TO PAY FOR AFRICAN CHILDRENS' EDUCATION!

Two thirds of children in Africa not currently in primary school could be educated for the cost of two new aircraft carriers for the Royal Navy, Britain’s development secretary has suggested.
 Andrew Mitchell said that Britain would continue to fund and support the campaign for universal primary education around the world but that it could not increase its spending without saving elsewhere.
 Mr Mitchell was speaking at a summit of world leaders hosted by South Africa’s president Jacob Zuma ahead of the World Cup final. Western donors have pledged to spend £7.3 billion a year to get 32 million African children into primary education.

I think that if we are going to cancel the AIRCRAFT CARRIERS, it should be for operational reasons and not to educate some FUCKING AFRICAN CHILDREN, who probably could be in education by this time if their COUNTRY'S LEADERS stop nicking the aid money that is sent from western democracies. According to this DICKHEAD Britain funds the education of 5 million children around the world and 4.8 million in this country! Apart from that if we can cancel the carriers, THE MONEY SHOULD MAYBE BE USED TO PAY OFF OUR FUCKING DEBTS FIRST, YOU PRICK!

TIME GAZZA WAS SECTIONED! THE FUCKWIT HAS LOST WHAT BRAIN HE HAD.

Just in case you thought the story about GAZZA taking a taxi from Newcastle to arrive in the middle of the biggest manhunt the country has known, to go and have a picnic with RAOUL MOAT because he knew him as a bouncer when he was playing for NEWCASTLE, was wrong, HERE'S THE EVIDENCE.

Along with the picnic, he also brought some cans of lager.  Yes Gazza, just what the Police are going to let you give a nutter with a gun!

It's time the DRINK SODDEN FUCKWIT WAS SECTIONED, before he loses what brain he has left!

LORD FONDLEBUM MAKES A TV AD FOR HIS NEW BOOK

Peter Mandelson donned the smoking jacket and cravat of the archetypal cad last night as he prepared to stick the knife into his New Labour colleagues. 
In a TV advert for the serialisation of his autobiography, the spin doctor-turned-Cabinet minister suggested the history of New Labour read like a 'fairytale', complete with rival kings and an evil prince – with himself cast in the latter role.
Seated in a leather chair in an oak panelled office, Lord Mandelson said: 'Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.  'Once upon a time there was a kingdom and for many years it was ruled by two powerful kings.
'But they wouldn't have been in power without a third man. They called him the Prince of Darkness,' adding with a smirk: 'Don't know why.'

If I am going to buy it at all, it will be in BARGAIN BOOKS at Christmas, you SLIMEY, REPUGNANT LITTLE FUCKER!  I hope you and your pal BLAIR, die of something VERY PAINFUL, VERY SOON.

KAY BURLEY'S WORST EVER INTERVIEW-AN ARGUMENT AGAINST ROLLING NEWS!

HARLEY ST CLINIC CHARGED £3K FOR NASAL SPRAY TO CURE HARD-ON PROBLEM!

A Harley Street clinic allegedly selling a fake £3,000 “cure” for impotence has closed after an operation by trading standards officers.
Westminster council received more than 100 complaints about AMI Clinic Ltd from people who said they were mis-sold a treatment for erectile dysfunction.  They claimed staff gave an overly aggressive “sales pitch”, misled them on price and promised a “money back guarantee” which was later refused.
Each had an initial consultation by a “doctor” involving no physical examination. They were simply asked to fill in a questionnaire, which was followed by a brief discussion. All were prescribed a nasal spray for their claimed problem.

How do you give a 'money back guarantee' to someone who can't get a hard-on.  Does the bloke have to get stiff and run round the clinic sharpish to SHOW IT TO THEM or what happens if by the time he gets there he has become FLACCID, does he THEN GET HIS MONEY BACK?  A FASCINATING SUBJECT for us STUDS!

'OGLING' MEN MUST COME OUT!

MEN who surreptitiously leer at attractive women must 'come out', it was claimed last night.
Research by the Institute for Studies found that unconcealed 'open ogling' is marginally less pitiful than trying to pretend there's something fascinating in a shop window which just happens to be behind some breasts.
Dr Emma Bradford said: "Ogling is a condition which affects all men above the age of about 33, which is when they start to become pathetic.
Ogling techniques include:
'Metro peepover' - a stare over a free paper commonly practised on public transport.
Car blanche' - when a male driver feels he can get away with a prolonged lascivious gaze because he might be looking for a turning.
Roy Hobbs, a 48-year-old ogler, believes his marriage has vastly improved after he agreed to dispense with his flimsy excuses.
"I'm allowed 20 minutes of dedicated ogle per day, while my wife has sex with the builder."

h/t  to the Daily Mash, an excellent publication from where I nicked some of this story.  The pic of the 'Girl Who Must Be Ogled', however is mine!

FABIO CAPELLO UNVEILS NEW ENGLAND SHIRT!

H/T DON'T CALL ME DAVE

FATHERS GOING TO THE SCHOOL SPORTS? NO YOU'RE NOT, YOU PERVERT!

A school turned a father away from his son's first sports day after banning parents who have not been checked by police from mixing with pupils.
The happy parent had gone to watch his son, a year seven pupil, compete in sprints and egg-and-spoon races.But teachers refused to let him spectate because they did not believe he had undergone checks by the Criminal Records Bureau.
Rather than argue, the 'mortified' father left quietly so he would not embarrass his son as he took part in the games at the 1,200-pupil De Lisle Catholic Science school in Loughborough, Leicestershire.
The school's policy says that any parent who has not passed the checks is banned from attending events in which pupils take part. The rules are aimed at shielding children from paedophiles.

How fucking dare they!  I appreciate children have to be protected from paedophiles, but this is ridiculous.  It is tantamount to accusing this man of being a pervert.  There is absolutely no evidence that there is any more paedophilia now than there was 40 years ago and rumours have been rampant for years about our 'RULING ELITE' being riddled with them.  It's time THESE MIDDLE CLASS LEFTIES WERE REMOVED FROM ANY POST OF RESPONSIBILITY, IN ORDER THAT OUR YOUNG PEOPLE CAN GET ON WITH A NORMAL AND HEALTHY LIFE! 

NO CHILDREN WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF THIS STORY.

NEVER MIND CIVIL SERVANTS-LABOUR CABINET MINISTERS GET £36K BONUS!

ALL MPs ARE WANKERS SAYS ADRIAN CHILES.

Former Labour ministers were handed more than £1 million in severance pay at the General Election, official figures show.
A total of £1,051,202 was awarded to ministers when they left office, Cabinet Office Minister Francis Maude said.  Ministers are entitled to receive a severance payment equal to three months of their annual ministerial salary.
That gives a Cabinet Minister £36k and even a Junior Minister gets £24k and that's on top of all the other perks and pensions they pick up.  I don't have much Sympathy for public sector workers who are getting a fucking good final salary pension as I've always worked for myself and I 'did in' my what little pension I had years ago to get money out of it.  Money purchase schemes are a con anyway, why should you have to buy an ANNUITY?  However, if they want to cut CIVIL SERVICE PENSIONS they should start with the ROBBING BASTARDS OF WESTMINSTER.

MAY 5th? OK, BUT LET'S EXTEND THE REFERENDUM!

DICK GREGG the leader of the LIBTHINGIES and a leading member of the Coalition Government, wants to hold his referendum on May 5, which is the same day as the Scottish Holyrood Election.

Labour and the SNP have united in opposition to the date in case it detracts from the Scottish Election.  But I say however, BRING IT ON!  If we're going to have a referendum let's extend it to have a vote on the CALMAN recommendations, CALMAN PLUS giving fiscal responsibility to Holyrood and while we're at it let's have a vote on FULL SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE.  Four questions to answer.  Surely 60 years of Labour haven't made us that FUCKING STUPID that we can't vote on a few questions while we vote for the SCOTTISH GOVERNMENT!

U.S. HOT DOG EATERS' TOILET ATTENDANTS TO STRIKE!

Competitive eater Joey "Jaws" Chestnut ate his way to a fourth consecutive championship at the annual July Fourth hot dog eating contest at New York's Coney Island. 
But he was suddenly upstaged by the surprise appearance of his biggest rival – six-time champion Takeru Kobayashi, who did not compete but crashed the stage after Chestnut's win and wrestled with police. 
"Let him eat! Let him eat!" the crowd chanted as police handcuffed the world's No. 3 professional eater, dubbed "The Tsunami."  He was under arrest Sunday afternoon, charged with resisting arrest, trespass and obstructing governmental administration.
Minutes earlier, Mr Jaws Chestnut downed 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win the annual Nathan's Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest.  The runner-up was Tim "Eater X" Janus, with a total of 45. Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti came in third with 37 dogs.  (Fuck me, they're worse than darts players for nicknames)!
Mr Chestnut was disappointed with his performance, despite claiming the bejewelled, mustard-yellow belt plus a $20,000 purse.

The Hot Dog Eaters' toilet attendants are on strike and Judge Wilfred T Whyte sentenced the "Tsunami" to clean out the competitors' toilets as his 'community service'.  "I'll teach the Jap bastard", "Deep Dish" mumbled as he headed towards the bogs with a six pack of 'strong but gentle' lavvy paper under his arm.  The Americans have claimed that Joey 'Jaws's' record is a WORLD RECORD, but they don't know of Britain's secret weapon for next year, Charles 'The Chav' Churchill, who regularly downs an equivalent amount of 'Big Macs' and fries after drinking 15 pints of Lager!

FIGHTING BREAKS OUT AT THE KILMARNOCK PEDALO REGATTA

SOME OF THE PARTICIPANTS ENJOYING THE REGATTA JUST BEFORE THE TROUBLE STARTED

Thousands of spectators and revellers basked in the sun at the Kilmarnock Council, Pedalo Regatta on Saturday for one of the highlights of the social calendar.



Unfortunately later in the day trouble started which has marred the occasion.
The vast majority of people were intent on dressing up, having a picnic, and perhaps even taking in the drunk pedalo racing.  Catering had been organised by GREGGS and stalls had been set up where strong cider and BUCKFAST were on sale.  Some stalls had even organised drinking competitions and it it thought that this was where the trouble first started.  As people munched away on Gregg's mince rounds and washed their feet in the waters of the reservoir, organisers had feared that the ambiance of the regatta, which they like to describe as an "Edwardian Garden Party", was beginning to be tainted by an outbreak of yobbery on the reservoir banks.
Sadie Wright, 34, from Ardrussan who works in LIDLS, was having her hen party with 33 friends.  " I DON'T KEN WHIT HAPPENED" she slurred, "some cow said something about my tits hanging out and I sconed her on the side of the heid with a GREGG'S mutton pie and the next think I knew, there was  a fucking melee".  "Her man, who was oot his skull with yon cheap cider, BTW, tried to stick the heid in me but I kicked him in the baws first"!  "The ambiance was fucked after that".
The only signs of conflict in the Stewards' Enclosure was the traditional battle of the hemlines.
Kylie McEwan, 26, from Glasgow, who had just arrived, looked stunned as she was turned away for wearing a dress which didn't have a hemline six inches above her knee.  "Am fucking scunnert"  she shouted at the Barstewards, "ave come aw the way frae Glasgow fur this, ya bunch of wankers"!

Kilmarnock Police insisted that the day had gone as expected despite the 650 arrests and the 6 people who drowned in the PEDALO RACES.  "That wasnae a problem" we were told by Sergeant Watt, "the fuckers were all from AYR".  Oh and 27 ducks had to be treated by the RSPCA after they ate some of the GREGGS SAUSAGE ROLLS that some of the REVELLERS had been throwing at the PEDALO RACERS.

THE ANNUAL ORANGE SCUM MARCH IS IN GLASGOW TODAY.

Up to 8,000 marchers are expected to take part in Scotland's largest Orange Parade in Glasgow later.
Police and the Orange Order have warned those attending the event that bigoted behaviour and public drunkenness will not be tolerated, (TRY AND STOP IT)!  The Orange Order said 90 bands from 182 lodges would take part in the parade.

I fucking hate ORANGE MARCHES and the bigotry and hatred showed by the marchers and the TATTOOED SCRUFF that follow them.  This phenomenon is purely an Ulster and West of Scotland occurrence.  Half of the bands will be SCUM from Northern Ireland, who annually march to GET IT UP THE FENIAN BASTARDS.  I abhor the triumphalism and the display of pro-British shite.  In the East of Scotland they have HIBERNIAN/pro IRA marches.  It's time these FUCKWITS were told to fuck off and hold their marches on ST. Kilda, where we can leave the fuckers to kick the shite out of each other and leave the decent people of Scotland in peace.

As a wee postscript.  Twenty five years or so ago my wife used to run a B&B and one night in July when I came home for work she told me she had booked in three men from Northern Ireland and she wasn't too sure about them.  I chapped their door, (they were in the family room), to make sure there was no fucking hanky panky going on, (sorry gay following), and immediately sussed that they would be over for the Orange Walk the next day.  The next morning they came down for breakfast with their anoraks on, hiding their regalia underneath.  The first thing I did was to turn up the heating full, it was a hot July day and by the time I took their breakfast through to them the sweat was running down their faces.  "Are youse alright, boys", I asked.  "Fine, fine was the reply".  Well we were in the kitchen, pishing ourselves laughing and I started to call my wife Theresa in a loud voice and shouted out things like, "did you remember to phone Father Murphy" and similar comments.  Childish I know, but a fucking good laugh.