BROWN TO SUE RUGBY EYE-GOUGER

The Prime Minister, GORDON BROWN, is to sue the young man who gouged out his eye in 1967 whilst playing rugby.

Mr Brown has suffered untold misery after having three operations and having had to TAKE A POWERFUL COMBINATION OF PAIN-KILLING AND ANTI-DEPRESSANT DRUGS ever since.


The eye-gouger in person, a Mr Tam Mackintosh is reported as saying, "I am really sorry, if I had known who it was at the time and that he was going to go on and be the worst Prime Minister in history, I would have had the FUCKER'S OTHER EYE AS WELL!

Mr Brown is said to be taking Braille lessons from that other celebrated blind FUCK-WIT, DAVID BLUNKETT, who at least has never moaned about his disability like Brown and just went out and fondled some women, even if he couldn't see what they were like, ALTHOUGH IT SOMETIMES MEANS HE SHAGS HIS GUIDE DOG BY MISTAKE (or not).

BUSH BELIEVED "HARRY POTTER" BOOKS ENCOURAGED WITCHCRAFT

JK Rowling was denied a Presidential award because George Bush believed Harry Potter 'encouraged witchcraft'

JK Rowling lost out on the U.S.'s highest civilian honour because members of the Bush administration objected to the author's perceived promotion of sorcery, a new book claims.
Matt Latimer, a former speech writer for George W Bush, states in Speechless: Tales Of A White House Survivor that as a result her name was not included amongst those receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The award acknowledges contributions to the U.S. national interest, world peace or cultural endeavours.


THIS WAS THE FUCKWIT WHO FOR 8 YEARS HAD HIS FINGER ON THE NUCLEAR BUTTON!

GET THEM OUT OF THE HOLY LOCH NOW BEFORE THEY KILL US ALL!!

GORDON TAKING "UGLY" PILLS!

WELL WE NOW KNOW WHO'S TAKING THE UGLY PILLS IN THE BROWN FAMILY!

LABOUR INVITE IRISH SCUM TO GRAND HOTEL

Labour caused outrage yesterday by inviting, IRA SCUM, Martin McGuinness to its annual conference in Brighton - the scene of the IRA's murderous attack on Margaret Thatcher's Cabinet.
The former IRA commander made clear that he had no remorse for the Grand Hotel bombing.
His visit came less than two weeks before the 25th anniversary of the bombing of the Tory conference in Brighton.

Five died and 34 were injured in what was one of the worst Provisional IRA outrages on mainland Britain.

IT SAYS ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THE FUCKWITS WHO ARE NOW RUNNING A ONCE PROUD AND PRINCIPLED PARTY!

STOP PRESS***LABOUR CONFERENCE REPORT***

A PAIR OF SCOTTISH FUDDS IN BRIGHTON YESTERDAY

Murphy and Gray, the non-entities of Scottish Politics, yesterday launched a broadside against both Nationalist and Conservatives, pledging to defeat those "whose sole creed is self interest, whose sole purpose is division, whose sole principle is expediency".


THAT'S FUCKING RICH coming from a Party who have clung on to power by any means, foul or fair over the last fifty years. They have LIED AND CHEATED THE PEOPLE OF SCOTLAND FOR TOO LONG NOW. Fuck off to your well paid jobs that BLAIR will have lined up for you. The PAIR OF THEM are only MAGGOTS ON THE PUS-BALL OF SOCIALISM.

The pair later ended up at a GAY BAR IN BRIGHTON, but had to be back home by 10 p.m. so UNCLE MANDY could tuck them in and give THEM A KISS GOODNIGHT!

MANDELSON-A FUCKING SCARY MAN!

When I started off Brown's ARSEHOLE was this size. When I finished it was this size!

PETER MANDELSON-"CONFERENCE, IF I CAN COME BACK, THEN WE CAN COME BACK"!

HOW FUCKING SCARY IS THAT!

MANDELSON ATTACKS NICE MR CAMERON

That wizened putrid old pus-pluke that is the LORD OF THE RING, Peter Mandelson, today insulted David Cameron by calling him, and I quote, a "FLIBBERGIBBET"

What the FUCK IS A "FLIBBERGIBBET", you old Labour RENT-BOY FUCKER!

The electorate would be more impressed instead of making up stupid names you just called him a FUCKING ARSEHOLE!

COMRIE IN PERTHSHIRE-VILLAGE OF THE SHAMED!

THE NAZI PIG-DOG!

He was a soldier in one of the most fanatical divisions in Hitler's war machine. As a member of the SS, Heinrich Steinmeyer expected little mercy as he surrendered to British troops towards the end of the Second World War.


But instead, he says he was treated with humanity by both the troops who captured him and the guards at the Scottish prison camp where he was kept until the end of the war.


Sixty-five years later, Mr Steinmeyer has pledged to leave his home and life savings of £430,000 to elderly residents in the village of Comrie, Perthshire, as a gesture of gratitude.

WERE THE PEOPLE OF COMRIE NAZI COLLABORATORS AND TRAITORS TO THEIR COUNTRY?

I THINK THE PEOPLE OF SCOTLAND SHOULD BE TOLD THE WHOLE STORY!

(GUARANTEED IT'LL BE IN THE SUNDAY POST NEXT SUNDAY)!

PRIME MINISTER NOT HAPPY AT BBC QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS HEALTH

NOT THE FACE OF A HAPPY MAN!

Downing Street was furious yesterday after Gordon Brown was forced to deny on BBC TV that he is taking drugs to cope with stress.


Andrew Marr challenged the already beleaguered Prime Minister over gossip that he is dependent on 'prescription painkillers and pills' to help him 'get through'. A visibly dismayed Mr Brown dismissed the allegations, which have been circulating on the Internet, and his aides said they had been categorically denied in advance to the BBC. Business Secretary Lord Mandelson attacked the 'personal intrusiveness' of Marr's line of questioning on the BBC's flagship political programme.


About FUCKING TIME that the BBC threw off it's left wing bias. ANDREW MARR is to be commended for his questioning.

Brown continually tried to change the subject back to his loss of an eye playing rugby.

WELL IF HE LOSES THE OTHER ONE HE CAN GET A LOAN OF BLUNKETT'S DUG!

ARMY ASKED TO DELAY ATTACK ON TALIBAN UNTIL AFTER BROWN'S VISIT!

Major-General Andrew MacKay claims that he was asked whether he could delay an attack on a Taliban stronghold until after Gordon Brown had visited the country.



Gen Mackay, who is believed to have resigned over the Government's handling of the Afghan war, said before he quit that Britain's contribution to the war was being undermined by a "tragic failure of leadership".

Does Brown and his SHITEBAG LABOUR Government have no idea of how to conduct a war. WHILST HE'S SUCKING UP OBAMA'S ARSEHOLE, MEN ARE DYING!

Maybe he should get his pal MAGGIE THATCHER to help him.

TWO PEOPLE WANT TO PISS ON JIM MURPHY!

Analysing the results of my recent poll which has just closed, "WHO WOULD YOU PISS ON IF THEY WERE ON FIRE"? TWO PEOPLE said it would be their intention to PISS ON, JIM MURPHY and even more BIZARRELY, somebody said they would PISS ON GORDON BROWN.


Would these three (or possibly two or even one voting more than once), please own up, as the rest of us would like to know who they are?

SARAH BROWN IN LOVE TRYST WITH OBAMAS!

Sources tonight in PITTTSBURGH at the G20 meeting have confirmed that BRITISH PRIME MINISTER'S WIFE, Sarah Brown is involved in a LOVE TRYST with PRESIDENT OBAMA his WIFE!


Sarah pictured above holding Obama's hand whilst getting HER ARSE fondled by his wife is said to have later enjoyed A CARNAL SEX ORGY with the OBAMAS during which she was introduced to sexual position no. 193 in the Black Kama Sutra, known as the MISSISSIPPI MUD PIE.

This involves being the "CREAM IN THE CAKE" between the sex hungry OBAMAS. Mrs Obama is said to be the first President's wife in history to take an active part in the celebrated PRESIDENTIAL SEXUAL AFFAIRS.


Sarah Brown's husband, THE HAPLESS GORDON, is reported to have encouraged the affair as a way of getting a seat at the MAIN MAN'S TABLE and he was seen practising with THE KING DING-A LING'S STAR WARS LITE SABRE as his wife was ravished by the sex hungry OBAMAS.


French and Italian Presidents SARKOZY AND BERLUSCONI and their partners are to join the GLEESOME THREESOME for a TOGA ORGY at the conclusion of the G20 summit.


Sarah Brown is said to have cooled in her LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP with JOANNA LUMLEY reported earlier in the year.

ATKINS DIES-NO COMPASSION IN THE U.S.A.!

Susan Atkins: 'Manson family' killer dies in prison after her 18 bids for parole were denied

Sharon Tate's murderer Susan Atkins has died in prison, suffering from brain cancer.
The 61-year-old is the first of the Charles Manson clan, who were responsible for the 1969 murder of the pregnant Hollywood actress, to die.
Her death comes less than a month after an American parole board refused to free her from jail on compassionate ground despite her terminal illness. She had been diagnosed with brain cancer in 2008 had a leg amputated and underwent brain surgery. It was her last chance of freedom and she was brought to the hearing on a trolley and slept through most of it.

THE STORY LEAVES A WEE BIT OF A SOUR TASTE IN THE MOUTH, DOESN'T IT?

LABOUR TO TAX TOILET PAPER (FOR ENVIRONMENTAL REASONS)

The government has today announced it's White Paper into the taxing of SHITE PAPER. The Department of the Environment sponsored Bill, The Tolley Paper Tax and Ancillary Nose Blowing Paper Act, 1909 with guidance from H.M. Treasury is hoped to become law within this Parliamentary Session.

Her Majesties Government is concerned that too much toilet paper is being used, over and above the statutory double sheet and this is damaging the environment and leading to GLOBAL WARMING.

Henceforth a tax of 50p per standard 120 sheet roll will be levied to stop excess SHITE ROLL damaging our rivers and sewage works, (ANY EXCUSE FOR A RIP-OFF TAX)!

All of those with FUCKING BIG FAT ARSES who are now normally using, three or even four sheets will have to go on a diet to save money on CRUD CLEANER, thereby leaving more grub for the rest of the population who are SKINNY BASTARDS.

MPs and BANKERS will as usual be exempt from paying the new tax as HM Government don't want to endanger the fragile recovery.

Anyone found to be WIPING THEIR ARSE with OLD NEWSPAPER or KITCHEN ROLL will be liable for a on the spot fine not exceeding £1000. SHITE WARDENS and SNIFFER DOGS are in the process of undergoing arsehole newsprint training as we speak!

BROWN AND MANDY THROWN OUT OF G20 MEETING!

PRIME MINISTER BROWN and his DEPUTY, LORD OF THE RINGS, were today thrown out of a meeting with PRESIDENT OBAMA and the Leaders of the other 18 countries.

They had to tried to sneak in as a couple of OLD QUEENS, (which wasn't difficult), after OBAMA told them "they were a FUCKING NUISANCE, WHO WOULDN'T BE HERE IN NINE MONTHS"!

BROWN AND MANDY were later reported to be looking for BATMAN AND ROBINS' BATCAVE to get some SUPERHERO TIPS.

BROWN'S GOVERNMENT TELLS US HOW TO WASH HANDS!

NEXT WEEK WE'RE GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW TO WIPE YOUR ARSEHOLE!

OBAMA SNUBS BROWN WITH "KITCHEN" SUMMIT

Barack Obama snubbed five separate requests from Gordon Brown for a private meeting during his U.S. trip. Instead, the Prime Minister was reduced to meeting the President in a bizarre 'kitchen summit' at the UN building after Mr Obama turned down British plans for a series of joint announcements between the two leaders.

Gordon's first course in the KITCHEN was the lovely FRIED BREAKFAST pictured above, inspired by his Dad who liked a good old nosh after the Sunday sermon. His DESSERT was a FUCKANAWFFY PIE which in truth turned out to be a bit of a disaster when he put it in at 220 degrees c and it burnt.

Barack started of with a lovely KLUKLUX CLAN-BAKE followed by a BROON SURPRISE. The SURPRISE being that there was no SURPRISE.

Gordon faces a COOK-OFF next week against KNICKERLESS SARKOZY, the little FRENCH ODDITY.

BARACK OBAMA-VISIONARY OR TWAT?

BARACK OBAMA AT THE U.N.

Barack Obama's blunt message to UN: 'We can't fix the world on our own'

Barack Obama today used his first address to the United Nations to deliver a remarkably blunt message to the international community. 'Those who used to chastise America for acting alone in the world cannot now stand by and wait for America to solve the world's problems alone,' he said.

Well I'm sorry Barack. I was one who hoped your election would bring a change in the direction of America from me, me, me to what can we do.

You mention some problems that currently face the world.

1. Terrorism-Many people would say that America has brought terrorism on itself because of it's foreign policy.

2. Protracted Conflicts-I think you might find that you are either participating or American money funded them in the first place.

3. Increasing nuclear capabilities-Poorer countries are entitled to get cheap nuclear power as well as the larger ones and if that leads to nuclear strike capabilities then we have to address that.

4. Melting Ice Caps and Global Warming-Since the U.S. is by far and away the biggest polluter in the World, I think you should put your own backyard in order first before criticising other countries.

5. Persistent Poverty and Pandemic Diseases-Perhaps if you spent some of your $1 trillion, that is a thousand, thousand, million, annual defence budget on medicines like a cure for Malaria or Aids then perhaps the world would be a better place and people would have more time for the U.S.

VISIONARY OR USUAL PRESIDENTIAL TWAT? I THINK I KNOW WHERE I AM STARTING TO GO!

NICK CLEGG-"I WANT TO BE PRIME MINISTER"

This man, who I believe is called Nick Clogg and is the LEADER of the Liberal Socialist Democrat Thingies, or whatever they now call themselves, has been heard stating at a half empty party conference hall that he wants to be PRIME MINISTER!


WELL NOCK I WANT TO WIN £25 MILLION ON THE LOTTERY AND THERE IS AS MUCH CHANCE OF ME DOING THAT AS YOU BECOMING PRIME MINISTER.

(That's none and fuck all, BTW)

SCOTTISH POLICE-MORE BRUTAL THAN THE ENGLISH?

The "English Defence League" claim to be getting big support in Scotland and are going to hold a demo in Glasgow on November14. They also claim to be a non BNP organisation. Fair enough. You can make your own mind up about that. But listen to this quote from the Strathclyde Police lifted from today's Sunday Post.


A source at Strathclyde Police told The Sunday Post, “We know all about it and will be planning well in advance.
“Our public order trained officers feel confident in dealing with any trouble if it erupts.
“In Scotland police officers can act quicker than their English counterparts — we don’t have the same number of protocols.
“If anyone steps out of line they’ll be locked up before they know it.”

"THEY DON'T HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF PROTOCOLS". WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? I THINK WE SHOULD BE TOLD!

HARRIET HARMAN TO TRAIN AS LAPDANCER!

City firms will be banned from claiming back tax on trips to lap dancing clubs under plans drawn up by Harriet Harman. Labour's deputy leader said she wants to stop companies being able to treat visits to lap dancing clubs as legitimate business expenses. She stressed that the taxpayer should not be propping up the sex industry or work outings which excluded women.

So just when you thought you might add a bit of spice into this years Xmas outing, LABOUR FUCK IT UP AS USUAL!

TWO SOLUTIONS

1. TAKE SOME OF THE GIRLS FROM THE OFFICE.

2. TRAIN FUCKING HARMAN AS A LAPDANCER THEN WHEN SHE'S MAKING MONEY FROM IT, SHE WON'T BAN IT. OK, SHE WON'T EARN MUCH, BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE DON'T TELL HER!

LEAVE OF ABSENCE.

As my wife has insisted we go on holiday for a week, my usual constant STREAM OF SHITE, may be of a less consistent nature over the next few days, unless I can get near a WIFI.




STILL IT GIVES ME AN EXCUSE TO PUBLISH ONCE AGAIN THE ABOVE BEACH PHOTO!

WOULD YOU PAY £2M FOR A GUB LIKE THIS!

JOCELYN WILDENSTEIN

The woman above, a "socialite", has paid in excess of £2million for face lifts. Although she is 63, she looks 20 years older and for a much smaller amount I could have stoated her on the gub with a hot iron and it would have had the same effect.

FUCK ME!

FEMALE TEACHER WHO SHAGGED PUPIL FACES JAIL!

A religious education teacher is facing jail after she admitted having sex with a 15-year-old pupil.

Madeleine Martin, 39, had intercourse with the boy from her school on several occasions.
The pair met up after exchanging a series of emails and began a nine-day relationship.
Last night Martin, who was married but is now estranged from her husband, was told to expect a prison sentence after she pleaded guilty to having sex with the schoolboy.


QUITE RIGHT TOO. WHAT'S SAUCE FOR THE GANDER IS SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE!


As a purely sexist comment, she looks not a bad bit of gear, I think if I had been a 15 year old I might have been tempted myself! (sorry about that Ladies).

ASDA-MAN CAUGHT CHOKING HIS CHICKEN!

ASDA WORKER 'CHOKED HIS CHICKEN'

Police are to investigate an allegation that an ex-Asda worker was caught on camera 'CHOKING HIS CHICKEN', in a raw chicken - then putting it back on the shelf.

He is also alleged to have urinated in a bin, played cricket and football with goods and poked a finger in a duck during antics apparently filmed by a co-worker on night shifts at the store in the Fulwood area of Preston, Lancashire.

A spokesman for Asda said: "We are absolutely disgusted and appalled by the FOWL behaviour of this man. When we sell a 'stuffed chicken', we mean it is stuffed with sausage meat not by some FUCKING PERVERT who can't get his kicks from normal sex".

The co-worker who was shagging the night shift supervisor over a freezer whilst he was filming the PERVERT said, "he was only back at work that NIGHT AFTER HAVING TO TAKE A WEEK OFF AFTER HE STUCK HIS COCK IN A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN AND GOT 2ND DEGREE BURNS".

SCOTTISH BEVVY FIGURES ARE A NATIONAL DISGRACE

SOME of the most deprived parts of Glasgow have an alcohol related death rate more than five times the UK average, official figures show. The figures show five city constituencies in the 10 highest for drink related deaths. Shettleston, which includes much of the East End, is the worst in Scotland, with 76 deaths per 100,000 population. Across the UK it is 13.3. Maryhill is more than four times the UK rate while Springburn, Baillieston and Govan are also in the 10 worst.

Only nine constituencies in Scotland were below the UK average, with Tweeddale, Ettrick and Lauderdale, in the Borders, the lowest at just four per 100,000 people.

The 10 highest as a percentage of UK average were: Shettleston 574; Maryhill 420; Greenock/Inverclyde 371; Dundee East 347; Springburn 333; Baillieston 331; Cathcart 292; Govan 289; Paisley 288; Hamilton N/ Bellshill 285.


Evidence in my estimation that something must be done soon to stop ridiculously high percentage of our citizens from dying from the bevvy. If that means squeezing the price of cheap Cider and Alcopops, then that's what we must do. Youngsters are getting hooked on this cheap drink and when you mix it with drugs it becomes a lethal combination. I know BTW because I drunk like a fish for 36 years and I am regretting it now!


It's time we gave people hope and some light at the end of the tunnel in their lives so that they DON'T HAVE TO WASTE THEMSELVES GETTING PISHED OUT OF THEIR BRAINS EVERY DAY!

BROWN USES "C" WORD

BROWN USES THE "C" WORD FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Now he's used the "C" word for the very first time, if he goes to http://isacunt.blogspot.com he can use it as much as he wants.

HE MIGHT FIND HE IS EVEN MENTIONED ONCE OR TWICE!

POST OFFICE STRIKERS-SACK THE BASTARDS!

Going nowhere: A photo issued by the union of the backlog at just one depot backlog

Post strike agony grows: Misery as bills, card payments and cheques are trapped in mail Thousands of families and firms are facing misery because of the postal strikes.


Credit card and store card statements are among more than 20million letters trapped in a backlog as the chaos escalates. The delays are leaving many people open to punishing bank penalty charges and even black marks on their credit records. Small businesses risk being hit with heavy overdraft charges as cheques sent to them fail to arrive.


The total effect of lost orders, bank charges and administration costs is predicted to top the £300million loss caused by the last national postal strike in 2007.
Further industrial action is planned across the country today, while the Communication Workers Union is holding a ballot on an all-out national strike.


It's time this industry was brought into the 21st century. This is the last bastion of 'Spanish practices' and the rest of the workers are FUCKING SCUNNERT.

Dark Lochnagar's wife has had two cheques caught up in this strike for TWO WEEKS. Even our delivery guy is moaning about it. He is given a half empty bag because these wankers are working to rule and told that is all he is getting. Have you ever seen T.V. pictures of the pricks, hand sorting the mail. I've got TWO CATS THAT COULD DO IT FUCKING QUICKER.

Then they expect the rest of the workers including the self employed who have fuck all pension to contribute to their grossly inflated pension pot.

SACK SOME OF THE BASTARDS AND TELL THEM THERE'S NO PENSION, THAT'LL SORT THEM!

THE E.C. GOOD FOR SOMETHING!

Claim back holidays lost to sickness, says European Court of Justice

Workers who fall ill during their holidays could now claim the time back from their employers following a landmark European Court of Justice judgment that lawyers warned was open to abuse.

The court ruled that employees had the right to ask for statutory leave to be "reallocated" when it was spoilt by sickness.
Under the terms of the judgement, employees would even be allowed to carry any annual leave ruined by illness over into the next holiday year.

The ruling is effectively a new interpretation of the European Working Time Directive on workers' hours, which applies in Britain across the entire private and public sector.
Leading employment lawyers warned it would be costly for businesses and that it left "the door open for abuse" by unscrupulous employees seeking to bolster their holiday entitlement by simply claiming to have a cold or flu while on leave.
A worker could phone up while on holiday and report in sick in the normal way - taking the day off sick, rather than counting it against their annual leave entitlement.

FUCKING BRILL! I JUST WISH I WASN'T SELF EMPLOYED!

FROCK HORROR AT MTV AWARDS-SHOWBIZ NEWS

There was a shocking incident at the MTV MUSIC VIDEO AWARDS last night when two Bints who nobody had ever heard of as far as I know, Pink, (the old twat on the left) and Shakira, (the dyed blond on the right), both turned up in the same dress.

Well, FUCK ME, there was some ruction until someone noticed that the old twat wasn't wearing knickers as she had dandruff on her shoes.


I've been to a few occasions when all the men have been dressed in Dinner Suits. But I don't suppose that's the same thing! Anyway there's always some fucker in a white tuxedo, kidding on he's a film star or something.

Sorry slow news day!

BLAIR, STRAW AND BROWN AND SECRET DEALS

Ministers were branded ‘corrupt’ this evening for agreeing a secret deal with Libya that will make it impossible to bring the killer of a British policewoman to justice in the UK.

In a new favour for the Gaddafi regime, the Foreign Office agreed to drop their demands to try the murderer of WPC Yvonne Fletcher, who was gunned down outside the Libyan Embassy in London in 1984.

The deal was signed off by Justice Secretary Jack Straw three years ago, when he was Foreign Secretary -- at a time when Britain was negotiating trade and oil deals with the regime in Tripoli.

The more we find out about these 'secret deals' between the CORRUPT LABOUR PARTY and the murdering BASTARD, COLONEL GADDAFI, the more shocking the affair becomes.


What do you want to bet that money from the Libyans, has or will find it's way, one way or another into the bloodstained hands of of these TRAITORS TO THEIR CAUSE AND THEIR COUNTRY.

SHOCK NEWS! BROWN QUITS!

**REUTERS**
Gordon Brown yesterday sensationally quit as Prime Minister of Great Britain to join Fife Fire Service as a FIRE ENGINE DRIVER.


Can we take it your first day didn't go too well, Gordon?

HITLER "I'M MORE POPULAR THAN POL POT OR IAIN GRAY"

The jack-booted German prankster, Adolf Hitler, today claimed to be more popular and to have more relevant policies for the people of Scotland than either Pol Pot or Scottish Labour Leader, Iain Gray.


"OK, he said, I made have made a fucking arse of it the last time I was in power, starting a World War which killed twenty million people and exterminating all those Jewish people, but fuck me, everyone deserves a second chance"


Recent opinion polls show that more people in Scotland would rather see Hitler becoming Scottish Labour Leader than Pol Pot or the current Leader, Iain Gray.


"At least I have some policies and just don't go around moaning my fucking face off about the SNP", he said. "Some people still find that a wee invasion of France and Poland might be fun and I'm going to leave the Jews and Gypsies alone this time and go after the Muslims. Gray's policies are more extreme than mine and people just won't accept that. Anyway my cheeky wee smile and witty quips are better than theirs."


A spokesman for First Minister, Alex Salmond, said, "Adolf Hitler, WHAT A FUDD."

S.A.S. TRAINING LIBYAN SPECIAL FORCES!

The SAS is reportedly involved in training Libyan special forces. Elite UK troops have apparently been working with Colonel Gaddafi's regime for the last six months, despite Tripoli arming the IRA in the past.

Sources within the SAS are unhappy with the training arrangement, they are also angry at being ordered to train soldiers from a country that provided the IRA with weapons used against British troops in Northern Ireland, the paper claimed.

The Ministry of Defence has told Dark Lochnagar that it does not comment on SAS activities.
The Foreign Office said: "There is an ongoing co-operation with Libya in the field of defence."
An SAS source told the paper: "A small SAS training team have been doing it for the last six months as part of this cosy deal with the Libyans. Another SAS soldier said: "The IRA was our greatest adversary - now we are training their backers. There was a weary rolling of the eyes when we were told about this."

Robin Horsfall, a former SAS soldier who took part in the Iranian Embassy siege in 1980 and fought the IRA in Northern Ireland, said: "There is a long list of British soldiers who have died because of Gaddafi funding terrorists. The SAS is being ordered to do something it knows is morally wrong."

It is believed the first moves towards setting up the training agreement began after Tony Blair visited Libya as Prime Minister in 2004. The deal was only finalised and "signed off" by Gordon Brown this year.

IS THERE NO DEPTH TO WHICH THESE SCUMMY LABOUR BASTARDS WON'T PLUMB?


There is a world of a difference, freeing a man with terminal cancer on compassionate grounds and training the troops of a regime which is RESPONSIBLE FOR HUNDREDS OF BRITISH SOLDIERS' LIVES!

CAMBODIAN LEADER INSISTS "I'M MORE POPULAR THAN IAIN GRAY"

Ex-Cambodian leader, Pol Pot, last night insisted that he is more popular than Scottish Labour Leader, Iain Gray.

Despite having wiped out 20% of the Cambodian population through "genocide" and having been dead for 10 years, the mass murderer claims to have received a higher poll rating in a recent opinion poll in East Lothian, the heartland of Gray's power base.

"People thought I had better plans for the Labour party in Scotland. I want to get everyone working in the paddy fields which I will establish in central Edinburgh and people will only get enough rice to feed them and their families, the rest going to my collective."

"I estimate that only just over one million will starve but people seem to prefer that to the crackpot policies of Gray's Labour Party and anyway they like my cheeky wee smile and my ability to make a witty quip", he added.

Fortunately for the people of Scotland, Alex Salmond's SNP are still riding high in the polls. When asked to comment a spokesman for the First Minister said "Iain Gray, WHAT A FUDD"!

SNP curb on drink prices is condemned in America


THE Scottish Government's flagship proposal to tackle the nation's alcohol problem has been attacked by US drinks companies who have urged ministers to abandon their minimum pricing policy.

." The SNP plans to introduce minimum pricing to try to stop high-strength drink being sold at "pocket money" prices. The plans would see a minimum price per unit of alcohol, of around 40p in off-licences, shops and supermarkets.Ministers hope the change will drive up the price of the cheapest vodkas and ciders, but leave most beers, wines and spirits unaffected.

"Health secretary Nicola Sturgeon defended the government's plans, arguing that the severity of Scotland's drink problem meant that radical action had to be taken.She said that one in 20 Scots died of alcohol-related causes and pointed out that 42,000 hospital admissions a year were due to alcohol misuse.

"It would be totally irresponsible of government to ignore the evidence that minimum pricing can be an extremely powerful tool to help tackle this," Miss Sturgeon said "and anyway what the fuck has it got to do with them how we treat alcoholism in this country.

They can GO AND TAKE A FUCK TO THEMSELVES" she added.

OSAMA BIN LADEN DEAD?

It was OSAMA'S turn at the Karaoke. Here he is singing "Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie"

Has Osama Bin Laden been dead for seven years - and are the U.S. and Britain covering it up to continue war on terror?

The last time we heard a squeak from him was on June 3 this year.
The world's most notorious terrorist outsmarted America by releasing a menacing message as Air Force One touched down on Saudi Arabian soil at the start of Barack Obama's first and much vaunted Middle East tour.

This week we have the eighth anniversary of the 9/11 outrage. Bin Laden has always been blamed for orchestrating the horrific attack - in which nearly 3,000 people perished. President George W. Bush made his capture a national priority, infamously promising with a Wild West flourish to take him 'dead or alive'.

Yet this master terrorist remains elusive. He has escaped the most extensive and expensive man-hunt in history, stretching across Waziristan, the 1,500 miles of mountainous badlands on the borders of Pakistan and Afghanistan.
Undeterred, Barack Obama has launched a fresh operation to find him. Working with the Pakistani Army, elite squads of U.S. and British special forces were sent into Waziristan this summer to 'hunt and kill' the shadowy figure intelligence officers still call 'the principal target' of the war on terror.

This new offensive is, of course, based on the premise that the 9/11 terrorist is alive. After all, there are the plethora of 'Bin Laden tapes' to prove it.
Yet what if he isn't? What if he has been dead for years, and the British and U.S. intelligence services are actually playing a game of double bluff?

What if everything we have seen or heard of him on video and audio tapes since the early days after 9/11 is a fake - and that he is being kept 'alive' by the Western allies to stir up support for the war on terror?
Incredibly, this is the breathtaking theory that is gaining credence among political commentators, respected academics and even terror experts.

Some have even suggested that he may be LABOUR LEADER, IAIN GRAY, in an elaborate disguise!

An interesting story which can be found in that bastion of truthfulness, The Daily Mail! http://www.thedailymail.co.uk

"I'M MORE POPULAR THAN SWINE FLU" SAYS IAIN GRAY

LABOUR LEADER IAIN GRAY

The Leader of the Labour Party in Scotland, IAIN GRAY, pictured above, today claimed that he is "AS FAMOUS AS FUCK".

"The latest polls show that 51% of people would rather have me than a dose of the swine flu although the other 49% stated that they would prefer death. I am a very interesting person as well, he added, saying that people thought him more interesting, funny and witty than an average undertaker."

"I guess most people who know me would say I'm a ordinary kinda guy who had greatness thrust on him at an early age. Not for me the Salmond 'off the cuff' remark', I like to make my jokes up days in advance. I try then out first in the mirror at home then I let my cat judge them and he always gives me high marks!"

When pressed however on the Margaret Curran, (SEXY SUE), debate covered elsewhere on this blog he refused to be drawn, but added with a wink and a cheeky wee smile "that he always had a spare 50p in his pocket".

LABOUR MSP ARRESTED FOR BEING £1 AN HOUR CALLGIRL

MARGARET CURRAN WORKED AS £1 PER HOUR CALL GIRL

An MSP, MARGARET CURRAN who lived a double life as a £1 an-hour call girl was ACCUSED OF OVERCHARGING YESTERDAY.


CURRAN, 49, entertained up to 20 clients a week as part of the Notorious Girls escort agency.
She used the working name of SEXY SUE and posed provocatively in her underwear on the agency's website, proclaiming herself 'very eager to please'.


CURRAN claimed she was no longer able to live on a MSP's salary after being part of the previous failed Lab/libdem alliance.


Curran was exposed when after returning home from a stint as 'SEXY SUE' she was rumbled by her WHORE MASTER who on counting her takings of £101 asked her, "who the fuck gave you the £1." "They all did", replied CURRAN.

LABOUR LEADER GRAY, TO LOSE SEAT AT NEXT ELECTION

LABOUR LEADER IAIN GRAY MSP


SCOTTISH Labour leader Iain Gray would lose his seat in the Scottish Parliament if the latest poll findings were translated into real results at the next election, the SNP has claimed.
A YouGov poll, commissioned by the Nationalists, put the SNP eight points ahead of Labour in the constituency vote and four points ahead in the regional vote, despite the controversy over the release of Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi.The Nationalists say that would be enough for them to win Mr Gray's East Lothian constituency and also oust Sarah Boyack in Edinburgh Central, Rhona Brankin in Midlothian and Mary Mulligan in Linlithgow.


Poor old Iain, nobody knows him, nobody likes him. In fact he's just a wee crawling, slimey slug.

TIME TO WEED THE BASTARDS OUT!

LORD FATTY FOULKES TO CAPTAIN SCOTLAND

The Lord fatty Foulkes M.S.P. is to be of some use for the first time in his whisky sodden life as he is named as Captain of the SCOTTISH SHITE TALKING TEAM FOR THE FOLLOWING COMMENTS!


THE National Conversation's document on foreign affairs is a "blueprint" for First Minister Alex Salmond to be made Secretary-General of the United Nations, it has been claimed by the Lord Foulkes, known to his friends as FUCK-PIG FOULKES.


"Mr Salmond's ego is so huge that you can imagine this section was drafted by him in the vain hope he might be able to take such a role," Lord Foulkes said.


A spokesman for Mr Salmond said: "It's wonderful to welcome Labour to the National Conversation – and excellent that they are accepting Scotland will become an independent nation."

Does the FAT FUCKER really just say the first thing that comes in to his DRINK SODDEN BRAIN?

LIFE IN JAIL? JUST HANG THE BASTARDS!

The SCUM who plotted to bomb planes and kill all the occupants will be sentenced on Monday and are expected to get LIFE IMPRISONMENT.


"That will teach them a lesson and future radical Muslims will think twice about doing the same" bleated some BARONESS UNELECTED FUCK WIT, on the radio today.

NEVER MIND LIFE IN JAIL, THEY'RE BRITISH, THEY PLOTTED AGAINST BRITS, TAKE THE BASTARDS SOMEWHERE AND HANG THEM!

That will teach them a lesson, particularly when they find out THERE'S NO VIRGINS!

SAVE THE CURLY WURLY!

SAVE THE CURLY WURLY-STOP THE KRAFT TAKEOVER!

The Yanks must not be allowed to get their hands on CADBURY. KRAFT are CHEESE MANUFACTURERS FOR FUCK'S SAKE!


What can they know of the delights of a FLAKE in an overflowing bath. What about the man dressed in black swimming off shore, up to the yacht, all because the LADY LOVES MILKTRAY.


What about the SHEIK and his TURKISH DELIGHT!


I think it is that BASTARD in the FBI, Robert Mueller behind this takeover!

IT MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN!

(My apologies for this story, slow newsday)!

"BROWN A NUT JOB" CLAIMS NO10 INSIDER

Is Gordon Brown still fit for office? A blog posted today by the journalist John Ward on his website notbornyesterday.org suggests that the PM may be in worse health than the public realise. He claims there are signs the PM is taking powerful drugs to control both depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
Ward bases his hypothesis on a tip-off from a senior civil servant that Brown has recently been given a "long list of forbidden foods". The civil servant, who works regularly with the PM, told Ward that Brown had been banned from eating and drinking several specific things "because of the drugs he's on".
Top of the list of foods that Brown can no longer touch, the source told Ward, were cheese, Chianti and over-ripe avocados - which immediately rang alarm bells for Ward. "Every doctor in Britain would recognise these contra-indications instantly: for they are the great verbotens for people taking MAOI drugs."
MAOIs - which stands for Mono Amine Oxidase Inhibitors - are generally a last line of treatment for major depression, when other anti-depressant drugs have failed. They can also be very effective in treating OCD. But they are potentially extremely dangerous. If the patient eats or drinks the wrong thing, they can result in death – hence the PM's "long list of forbidden foods".


Whilst we wouldn't want Broonie to be carried from office by men in white coats, is it not time someone spoke to him quietly and got him FUCKING SECTIONED FOR THE GOOD OF THE COUNTRY?

"BROWN IS A BARE-FACED LIAR", SAYS DARLING

Brown's claim to have saved 500,000 jobs 'is a BARE-FACED lie' says Darling.

Gordon Brown has been accused of ‘lying’ by Alistair Darling in a vicious feud that threatens to wreck the Government’s attempt to combat the recession. The Chancellor has enraged the Prime Minister by refusing point-blank to back Mr Brown’s claim that his multi-billion-pound bailout of the banks has ‘saved 500,000 jobs’.
In an astonishing show of defiance, Mr Darling argued the claim cannot be substantiated and has told the PM to stop repeating it.

Mr Brown and Mr Darling were at the G20 yesterday but they are said to be 'barely speaking' The row is the latest sign of a dramatic collapse in confidence in Mr Brown at all levels of the Government’s ranks. His authority suffered a fresh series of blows yesterday as:

• Justice Secretary Jack Straw effectively accused Mr Brown of lying about the Lockerbie bomber row.
  
• Senior Labour aides said ‘drift and indecision’ inside No10 was compounded by the PM’s ‘agitated state of mind’.
  
• Labour MPs threatened to mount a new bid to topple him when they return to Parliament next month.

THE WHOLE SORRY MESS IS FALLING APART AND THE SOONER THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT RESIGNS AND WE HAVE A GENERAL ELECTION, THE BETTER.

"THAT" LETTER FROM MUELLER OF THE FBI

There follows a copy of the letter sent by Robert Mueller of the FBI to Kenny Mackaskill. The letter as far as I can see is littered with inaccuracies, which I have outlined.

You can make your own mind up about the state of mind of Mr Mueller.
IT HAS OBVIOUSLY BEEN WRITTEN FOR HOME CONSUMPTION!

For Immediate ReleaseAugust 22, 2009
Washington D.C.FBI National Press Office(202) 324-3691
Letter from FBI Director Robert S. Mueller, III, to Scottish Minister Kenny MacAskill
August 21, 2009
The Honorable Kenny MacAskill, MSPCabinet Secretary for JusticeScottish GovernmentSt. Andrew's HouseRegent RoadEdinburgh, Scotland, United KingdomEH13DG
Dear Mr. Secretary:
Over the years I have been a prosecutor, and recently as the Director of the FBI, I have made it a practice not to comment on the actions of other prosecutors, since only the prosecutor handling the case has all the facts and the law before him in reaching the appropriate decision.
Your decision to release Megrahi causes me to abandon that practice in this case. I do so because I am familiar with the facts, and the law, having been the Assistant Attorney General in charge of the investigation and indictment of Megrahi in 1991. And I do so because I am outraged at your decision, blithely defended on the grounds of "compassion."
Your action in releasing Megrahi is as inexplicable as it is detrimental to the cause of justice. Indeed your action makes a mockery of the rule of law. Your action gives comfort to terrorists around the world who now believe that regardless of the quality of the investigation, the conviction by jury after the defendant is given all due process, and sentence appropriate to the crime, the terrorist will be freed by one man's exercise of "compassion." Your action rewards a terrorist even though he never admitted to his role in this act of mass murder and even though neither he nor the government of Libya ever disclosed the names and roles of others who were responsible.
Your action makes a mockery of the emotions, passions and pathos of all those affected by the Lockerbie tragedy: the medical personnel who first faced the horror of 270 bodies strewn in the fields around Lockerbie, and in the town of Lockerbie itself; the hundreds of volunteers who walked the fields of Lockerbie to retrieve any piece of debris related to the breakup of the plane; the hundreds of FBI agents and Scottish police who undertook an unprecedented global investigation to identify those responsible; the prosecutors who worked for years--in some cases a full career--to see justice done.
But most importantly, your action makes a mockery of the grief of the families who lost their own on December 21, 1988. You could not have spent much time with the families, certainly not as much time as others involved in the investigation and prosecution. You could not have visited the small wooden warehouse where the personal items of those who perished were gathered for identification--the single sneaker belonging to a teenager; the Syracuse sweatshirt never again to be worn by a college student returning home for the holidays; the toys in a suitcase of a businessman looking forward to spending Christmas with his wife and children.
You apparently made this decision without regard to the views of your partners in the investigation and prosecution of those responsible for the Lockerbie tragedy. Although the FBI and Scottish police, and prosecutors in both countries, worked exceptionally closely to hold those responsible accountable, you never once sought our opinion, preferring to keep your own counsel and hiding behind opaque references to "the need for compassion."
You have given the family members of those who died continued grief and frustration. You have given those who sought to assure that the persons responsible would be held accountable the back of your hand. You have given Megrahi a "jubilant welcome" in Tripoli, according to the reporting. Where, I ask, is the justice?
Sincerely yours,
Robert S. Mueller, IIIDirector

ANYONE WHO FEELS LIKE AN HOUR'S INTERESTING READ ABOUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AT LOCKERBIE SHOULD VISIT THE FOLLOWING SITE, (BIG THANKS TO TUGGER)

http://intergritynews.wetpaint.com/page/The+Strange+Disappearance+of+Lester+K.+Coleman+a.k.a+Lex+Coleman+Reporter,+Talk+Show+Host.

"THE FBI CAN FUCK OFF", THE SUNDAY POST

Holyrood fury over FBI chief’s demands
EXCLUSIVE By Campbell Gunn

THE FBI phoned a Scots police force in the middle of the night and demanded Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill’s address after he freed the Lockerbie bomber.
The Lothian and Borders force was told at 2 am an official from the US Embassy wanted to deliver a letter from FBI Director Robert Mueller. Mr Mueller was so furious at the decision to release the bomber he wanted the letter hand-delivered.
He had ordered an official from London to travel to Edinburgh, hand over the letter and wait while Mr MacAskill gave a response.

Lothian and Borders Police refused to give out the details but contacted officials at the Justice Secretary’s private office.
They informed the FBI there were set procedures in such cases and delivering a message to Mr MacAskill at his home in the middle of the night was out of the question.

The FBI chief’s actions have sparked political fury at Holyrood. THE FBI was also told it couldn’t phone up and demand the home address of a cabinet minister of another country. Scottish Government officials are understood to be angry with the FBI’s high-handed attitude, pointing out no-one would dare call up the FBI and demand the home address of a senior member of the US Government.

The Sunday Post contacted the FBI in Washington for a comment and we were asked to put the request in an email, which we did on Thursday morning.
We have received no response.

So as a result we have a message for Mr Mueller on behalf of the Sunday Post and the people of Scotland, " GO AND FUCK YOURSELF"!