The Chancellor of the Exchequer announced this evening that he is going to insist that the £30 Billion owned to nationalised banks in DUBAI, is paid in property and all 20 million taxpayers WILL BE ABLE TO HAVE ONE WEEKS TIMESHARE ACCOMODATION every 3 years or so.
Alistair Darling told DL, " we might as well get something for our money instead of fucking wasting it like what we have done up to now. DUBAI is ideal as a holiday destination as the weather is fucking roasting all year round and we'll soon own BRITISH AIRWAYS, so we'll be able to offer cheap flights as well. Not just from English Airports either. We expect to see flights leaving from all Scottish Airports, including BENBECULA and BARRA. Whether anyone will come back is a different story.
AT LAST, Labour does something for Scotland. So this is the UNION DIVIDEND THEY TOLD US ABOUT! Well Alex, you can stick your SNP UP YOUR BIG, FAT ARSE, we're off TO THE SUN!